Films

I love lists.

I watched this Jack Howard video where he describes his favorite movies. You know how youtubers do, they ask a question at the end of their video to get you to interact with the comment section, & Jack asked "What're your favourites?" It got me thinking.  Also, Rhett & Link made a 'top ten favorite movies' video. So I've been trying to figure out the ones I like most. I'm thinking about them in terms of movies I could watch every day.

Anyway, here's my list:

1. A Lot Like Love
2. Stranger Than Fiction
3. The Sword in the Stone
4. The Fifth Element
5. Matilda
6. The Decoy Bride
7. The Nice Guys
8. Bridget Jones Diary
9. O Brother Where Art Thou?
10. School of Rock

Honorable mentions

Mad Max: Fury Road

Superstar

Big Daddy

Space Jam

Dead Poets Society

Blade Runner 2049

The Cable Guy

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Lady Bird

Bridesmaids

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

exactly how we want this to feel

5 things I loved this week:

1.  Grace and I are kindred spirits evidently. This Grace Helbig video really says everything I'm thinking right now, like everything... especially the first part where she talks about watching West World. I also recently started West World bc my mom gave me an hbo login and I was interested in the premise of West World. Reality is a joke. Funny and serious and ridiculous at the same time. Because I am so good at absorbing the ideas of another, I came to the conclusion that I can't watch West World unless I have a sounding board of another person to watch it with & since I'm so late to the West World party, plus I'm going to be alone forever so, I'll probably never finish this show.


2. Advice for all ages


3.  Give and Take by Adam Grant - Just started reading it this week and it's already one of my favorite self development books. Spoiler alert- It's helping me feel justified for already valuing giving as a concept and also helping me think about being more intentional about giving. 


4. Made gluten free vegan cookies with vegan royal icing. They turned out decent.
   
   



5. This

I forgot again

Okay so new habits take time to set in. Give me a break. Pretty please.

5 things I loved this week:

1. Ologies podcast really slapped this week. It was on kissing. Very fascinating. I love kissing. In fact, that was my goal for 2020. 







2. I've been watching and listening to a lot of Lewis Howes this week. I was just now watching this video right here and the guest said something that resonated so deeply that I wanted to add it to my recent "about me" post and then that's how I remembered about this weekly fiver. That episode is actually very, very good. James Sexton makes a point about how marriage is neither good or bad and it's a technology that can be used to suit specific people. I also found it interesting that he said most people are entering into this contract not knowing what they're signing up for. Do you know what legally the marriage agreement entails? And if most people are willing to talk about what they're signing up for and potential outcomes, most people will be better off. Really the whole video can be summed up by saying that relationships will be better off if we pay attention and talk about it with the other person in the relationship, whatever "it" is. 


3. Another good podcast episode (I've been consuming a lot of content, okay) - Abbi Jacobson on Creative Pep Talk


4. Here are some cool factz about sugar.


5. My brother is pretty funny sometimes.
   

bingo bongo

There's a video that a good friend has sent me a few times, that I think of often.

This is the one. (It's called Loner Motivational Video, haha) It is a really powerful sentiment, and the video is made in such a way that's really electrifying. When I first watched it, I flinched against the title of the video. Flinching usually means I need to dive deeper. Loneliness and being a "loner" are still ideas that I'm wrestling with. I connect with a different part of the video with every additional viewing. Recently it's been "invent yourself and re-invent yourself." I'm constantly searching to define myself.

So I did this self-serving thing the other day where I asked some of my loved ones "What are 3 things that automatically remind you of me?"

Some named intangible substances; others gave straight up word associations. All were kind.

Below is a compilation of those ideas.

Things that are strongly tied to the image I have of myself:

• Bears
• Physical touch
• Openness
• Collage
• Purple hair
• Sugar, and all that entails
• Exclamation points
• Abundantly encouraging
• Mornings are my nemesis
• Butcher, baker, candlestick maker
• Connection 
• Go deep or go away
• Do the hard thing
• Empathy is the answer
• Thoughtful gifts
• Sandwiches
• Laughter
• Slow as molasses
• Sometimes I’d rather sleep
• Grocery lists
• In love with love
• 20 minutes late or 20 minutes early
• Hypochondria
• Extroverted introvert
• Upbeat songs with dark lyrics 
• Visual learner
• I'll be your sidekick
• Space cadet 
• Paradoxical
• Warmth

farts

My sex life is pretty non-existent. Even before "stay at home" happened.

During 2018, I went on a lot of tinder/hinge/bumble "dates" and met a lot of really interesting people. All of them lived in huntsville or birmingham or georgia. It just never seemed to work out. Most of them fell to the wayside organically and that was fine.

This one guy I met on tinder keeps coming back though. He comes out of the woodwork every once in a while to try and sext. I'm generally pretty amused and only sometimes annoyed. I've tried to have normal conversations with him. (My normal is probably not exactly normal and a little deeper than most.) We have very little in common, especially in terms of priorities and values. Now the only time he tries to speak to me is when his dick is hard.

So anyway,  that brings me to yesterday. The memes are true. Guys are extra thirsty rn. He sent me this:

If I actually had feelings for him, I would have maybe responded with a better response than thanks.  I took a screenshot. I just had to. And I've never been one to give a shit that snapchat tells the other person that you took a screenshot. He was really surprised and offended. I could see why he could be upset. He probably thinks I'm making fun of him, but in reality I applaud him. I truly do. He's probably been shamed by someone in the past. I wish I could give him more confidence and take away some of his ego. You shouldn't say something like, "I wanna suck the farts out of that ass babe" and not be proud of it. Stand behind your statements, man. Don't say something if you don't mean it. Unless you're being funny. Even then, there's usually a little truth behind every 'just kidding.'

He didn't seem to find any humor in the situation. But what he doesn't understand is how much I appreciate farts. They are so funny to me. I don't mind that he was being serious. But I wish he was also being funny. Like how can you not see how funny that statement is? I truly believe that funny and serious can co-exist at the same time in perfect harmony.

I genuinely forgot what day it was today.

5 things I loved this week:

1. Bon Appetit at home - it's really funny to see the Bon Appetit stars all responding to the same prompts, but separately. They all have these little inside jokes with each other that are so cute, like everyone makes good-hearted comments about Chris with his spoons and Molly with salt. You can tell they all really enjoy each other's company. The episode where they made pantry pasta is so good and informational.


2. Custom popsockets


3. I started the 100 day project again this year.  instagram.com/annabellebearoh It's something to look forward to when everything feels uncertain.


4. Buttsss.com


5. I discovered that most of my favorite Disney movies open with a storybook and I don't know what that says about me and my life, but I like it.

giving makes me feel better

I'm a super big fan of Austin Kleon's newsletter. It features 10 things he thinks are worth sharing. I love how simple the format is, but he always adds so much information. So I'm thinking about stealing that. (He did write a book about stealing...) Except I'm only going to share 5 things that I love. 5 things is more bite sized.

5 things I loved this week:

1. Yellow Bird Yoga studio offered a 30 day wellness package on March 18th and I bought one on March 20th and I've been enjoying it ever since. Julie is super chill and friendly. 


2. Apocolyptic recipes - I love the style that these recipes are written, with a little humor and very conversational.


3. hot showers - seriously though they've been the best way to truly cleanse my languish of the day. 


4. Dave (Hulu) - this is my favorite show rn. I look forward to the new episode every Thurs and I've re-watched it three times now. Dave Burd/lil dicky is really not the main event. All of the other characters are what make the show. They're so fucking funny and nobody on the show shies away from that deliciously absurd sense of humor that I love so much.


5. Collaborative Spotify playlists. I fully recommend starting one with a friend. (Here's mine & Trev's.)

For the past 2 years, my work weeks have ended on Saturdays, so as an homage to that, I'm planning on posting these fivers on Saturdays ~*~*~for consistency~*~*~ of course.

We'll see how that goes.

collective consciousness

Sometimes I'm super perturbed by "coincidences."

There have been a strangely numerous amount of times I've gone to the shop and realized I'm accidentally wearing matching t-shirt colors.

Today I mentioned in passing while we were all in the kitchen about how I really wanted pizza and B/C were both like, "WELL GUESS WHAT WE WERE PLANNING ON ORDERING MELLOW"

Also, yesterday I had a plan to post some sky pictures on ig that I had collected and a friend of mine posted a sky picture on ig so now I can't post mine because it will look like I'm posting mine because they posted theirs, even though that is truly not the case.


We're just connected; I don't know what more to tell you.

people are nightmarish in different ways

I'm in a headspace right now where nothing is good or worth it, but I've had this post in the queue so I'm just gonna ship it anyway.








How Difficult Are You to Live With? How difficult am I to live with?
These are questions from that video series on relationships from The School of Life that I talked about in a previous post.

If I were a true investigative journalist, I would ask W and B/C what it's like to live with me, but I am just a regular human and I'm scared. I might ask. It's 9:37pm right now and that's too late for this line of questioning.
My answers are kind of formed in response to how I currently live with platonic housemates. I have no way of knowing what it might be like to live with me as a romantic partner.  I'm sure it would be this times a trillion.

1. When I’m annoyed, I have a tendency to…

I get hella snarky when I'm annoyed. In an irritable and snide way. In a way that's snappy and cruel. I try really hard to hide my annoyance because I don't like to be on the receiving end of that treatment myself, and I don't want to put anyone through that.



2. When I feel hurt I…


When I'm hurt, I think I get whiny sometimes and other times I just go cold. I try to pretend like nothing is wrong. I used to think I was really good at it and my hurt was imperceptible.


3. When I’m tired I…

Typically, when I'm tired, I just get silly. If tiredness is in combination with menstruation, then I become uncontrollably weepy.

4. My friends could be a bit of a problem – in so far as…

That's hard to say. I surround myself with really excellent people. I don't really know what to say here. Most* of my friends get along with each other. The only problem I can see is that we can't hang out enough.

*I say most because, yes, not everybody gets along with each other, but they all get along with me and that's the important part.


5. Around money, I can be a bit difficult because…

I don't give a shit about the amount of money I have. I do not feel bad or good about the amount of money I have in my checking account.

I don't care how expensive something was. It's just a material possession. The amount of money that it took to acquire that thing has very little bearing on the value of that thing, to me. An expensive thing does not always equal a well made thing.

Money is a construct, and yet... a good friend told me one time that every dollar is a vote, and I agree with that. I try spend money on things that I value, like experiences and service. I'm also realizing that it bothers me when anyone judges me on how I'm spending my money.

Like this video, for example: How To Stop Eating Half Your Money

In theory, valid points. He has a great point when he says, "Stop spending the majority of money that you make, and save it instead." But it's when he says, "rejecting the convenience of I sure could use a subscription box full of hot sauce samples every month" that he loses me. What if I'm happy to spend my money on that random shit? What if I want to cook at home and enjoy restaurants and bars? What if that's what I want to spend my money on?  I think maybe I'm being too literal and he's trying to say that it's not that hard to pay attention and be intentional with your money. It's difficult to decipher that with all the mumbo jumbo surrounding it though. It seems like money management advice givers are giving advice to an imaginary audience of people that they think they want to be rich without consequence. Who wants to be a millionaire? Not me. Seems like a real crap shoot.

6. I guess I worry really quite a lot about…

I'm neurotic. I worry about plenty of deeply insignificant things. Like if someone cares.
I worry about meaning. What does that mean? What do you mean? What does it all mean?


7. I’m unusually obsessed by…

Well. I have a weird relationship with obsessions and so I try to rebel against them most of the time.


But in terms of communal living situations, I guess putting things back where they're "supposed" to go. It's super unsettling to me if things aren't in the agreed upon location. And it's not like I'm annoyed or upset when things aren't in their place - I just put the thing back. I don't have any expectations that someone else should be putting something back, instead of me - I just put the thing back. Also, I've never understood the thing that some people do with dishes where they only wash the dishes they used. It's not efficient to leave dishes if you're already there washing dishes or whatever. I can understand only doing the amount that time allows for, but like intentionally leaving certain dishes because they're "not yours" doesn't make sense to me.


8. I’ve got some routines which I guess can be difficult…

Probably my lack of routine is difficult. I generally fly by the seat of my pants. If you communicate with me, I'll plan around anything. But if you expect me to have a reliable routine, that just won't happen.