A blog cultivated by Annabelle Barrow & she's kind of embarrassed about it, but not enough to stop posting and delete the thing.

Tuesday, December 29

xmas time was here

"Don't have a crush on someone who isn't single."
Wise words from my most recently married friend.

Been watching a lot of the American version of Shameless over the break because I signed up for a Showtime free trial on my amazon prime. I got to season 3, episode 9 before my 7 day trial ran out.
This playlist is almost as good as watching an episode: Lip's Truth or Dare  Because Lip is the greatest.

Since I've been home for a week, I've taken this time to look through my old crap to see if it's worth keeping. I am trying to get rid of all of these extra things that I have for no reason, but I truly am a sentimental person. It's a struggle. My favorite thing I've looked at so far is this composition book I kept in 2007 that just has all these random lists and events that happened. I really liked that record keeping aspect. I felt less connected to the dramatic emotional entries and also all these notes I have from other people. There is something really nice about keeping a record of your life events for lookbacks. On keeping a log book - Austin Kleon. I have a hard time remembering things. And I think it might be because everything that happens to me is mundane.
I constantly remind myself not to compare, but I've had some moments of weakness lately because this guy that I'm always on-again-off-again (currently off, I think. Haven't talked in 7 days.) is 4 years older than me and had apparently lived this crazy life unbeknownst to me. He tells me these grand tales and I have absolutely nothing to tell about that is even half as crazy as his. All the stories I muster up sound so pitiful even as they're coming out of my mouth. And my problem is not even about me not living a crazy life, because I don't have a real desire to. I just wish I was a better story teller. I guess that's what it boils down to.
I admire storytellers.


For future reference:
Here's what I got for Christmas 2015...
+All these books!
+Brother laser printer
+high yield toner cartridge
+my phone! (I dropped it on Nov 21st and I spent way too much money to get it fixed for myself for Christmas)
+Cadbury chocolate balls
+flat waterbottle
+3 pairs of Vans(grey with turquoise, all you need is love, skulls)
+jeans and lacy shirt from old navy
+Ticket to Ride(this is a shared gift with the fam)
+some other cool stuff that I can't remember so I might edit this later.

Friday, December 18

repellent

I hate to admit this, but one of those stupid facebook quizzes really fucked me up.

I keep thinking about it over and over. It was one called 'how easy to love are you?' and my friend JG got 101% and Smells got 7% and I was laughing to myself like ha, I'm totally more lovable. And goddammit I only got 1%. That fucker said I'm hard to love.

To make things worse, I'm trying not to take it personally that nobody invited me to see star wars for the opening today. I'm a little bit hurt though.

I want to be that cool person that's happy that my "friends" (just kidding about the quotes) are happy and seeing a movie franchise they love, even if I'm also a little jealous that I am apparently easily forgotten.

This all very much has to do with the fact that I have been feeling like I've been taking care of everybody around me lately and there's nobody to take care of me. I mean, I am taken care of. I'm spoiled as hell. It's kind of nice to feel like I'm being taken care of though. 

I have to get my oil changed tomorrow and I have never had to go by myself and I feel very anxious about it.