No Rest For The Wicked

Or: I'm Not Getting As Much Rest As I'd Like


I really want to become a person who doesn't use all of the time allotted to do a thing. I want to become a person that has a project that needs doing and sets aside time to do it and gets it done and moves on to other things. I am more of a use all of my time on one thing until I absolutely have to stop.

I want to have more time to watch FRIENDS and knit and blog and read. I feel guilty whenever I actually do any of those because I'm usually putting off something else. And I rarely feel guilty so it's a pretty big deal.

This semester is just going to be brutal. It is only the 3rd week and I already am behind. Everything graphic design related is so time consuming. And I have no confidence in any of my designs. I need to work twice as hard, but then it takes me 5 times as long and I HAVE NO TIME. (I probably have plenty of time, but I don't know how to mix social with academia in a healthy way.)

I stayed up ALL night (until 6:30am) finishing digitals for a roughs critique for Type. At 6:30am, I decided to close my eyes for thirty minutes before my 8am class and next thing I know it's 8:45am. Needless to say, I did not make it to that class today. I could have I guess, but then I would have been at least an hour and 15 minutes late and then I would have that late to class walk of shame to deal with. I'm an adult and I can do what I want. Now I know that I should not think that I will only sleep for a mere 30 minutes when I've stayed up all night. I should have known better than that

Oh god I have so much to do though. And I keep getting roped into things that I really want to do, but I do not have the capacity to devote time to extra things.

I am in awe of how my classmates seem to keep it together. How do they do it? Do they stay up all night like I seem to? Do they actually work on things instead of writing blog posts? Why am I not trying as hard as everyone else? Why can't I force myself to get it together?


A phrase that has been uttered multiple times by my classmates so far this semester has been "Fake It 'Til You Make It." Only I'm unsure if I'm doing a good job of faking it. I'm thinking no. I'm thinking everybody else can see I'm floundering.

It seems like this is all I ever talk about. My inability to grasp my life. Will I ever get a handle on it? Time will tell, or so they say.

So many questions.

Moving Images Update:
Life of Brian, Jones, 1979 - Very Monty Python.
The Ruling Class, Medak, 1972 - First half was so funny, last half was so not.
The Holy Man, Ray, 1965 - Took me a while to get into it because I was working on something for another class while I was trying to read the subtitles, but it picked up. Einstein was mentioned, so automatic bonus points for that.
Scanners, Cronenberg, 1981 - Lots of cool head explosions. The main guy talks like a robot.
The Evil Dead, Rami, 1981 - Gross tree rape scene. Annoyed me that the stupid group of people wouldn't leave the cabin. Reminded me that I need to watch Cabin In The Woods though.
Repo Man, Cox, 1984 - Favorite so far. Very 80's. Reminiscent of a Pulp Fiction style movie.