Believe in your fucking self

I've just brushed my teeth, flossed, mouthwashed, washed my face, took contacts out, moisturized my face, and cleaned (a tiny part of) my room. I would feel really accomplished about all this, but I've not even started on my typography homework, which is what I should be spending all of my time on. I'm not avoiding it because I hate it; it's because I love it and I know I'll spend too much time on it and it will still look like poop. I am still in that artist's stage in life where everything you try really hard at still sucks AND IT'S REALLY BUMMING ME OUT. I know that this is probably normal and I just have to trudge through to get to a point where I can make something and it looks okay. I'm aware of this and yet it still makes me want to quit.

Back to when I mentioned brushing my teeth and stuff. This probably doesn't seem like any kind of accomplishment to an outsider looking in. This is normal nightly routine stuff. But I am a disgusting shell of a person that previously did not have a nightly routine. I used to just skip all that crap and go to bed. I recently went to the dentist and was told that I have 4 cavities in 2 of my front teeth. They are not huge, in fact they are minuscule, but they apparently will not disappear with vigorous hygiene. I have to get them filled. I didn't think I was that upset about it, but it's obviously something that's been bothering me because I can not stop thinking about it. Like I don't care if they are a little visible, but I don't want them to be super visible because I tend to smile a lot and that could really lessen the effect of my smile. So now I'm trying to be a human adult that flosses and brushes teeth twice a day, so that I don't have any more infractions.
Since I'm already in the bathroom when I'm doing the teeth thing, I figured I should get my face sorted out while I'm in there as well. My face is a mess right now. It's never really been clear since I was 15, but there's been times where it's been less spotty. And really it may have to to with the fact that I just started my period and my hormones are like HAHAHAHAHA I HATE YOU HERE'S SOME PIMPLES. I think this has a lot to do with it because I got pimply about this same time 4 weeks ago and my brother was like, Ew what's up with your face. I remember telling him it was probably just my period and he ran away screaming. By the way, that whole water thing that I said I was going to try is not making any noticeable change in my complexion. My face wash routine is in it's infancy at the moment, meaning that I can't put water on my face without it dripping down my elbows and getting it all over the counter and I can't figure out the right amount of moisturizer to pump because I'm always left with a goopy face and a blob of unused left on my finger. I'm hoping that with time the process will age to perfection like a well-loved book or something else that's old and perfect.


In other news, I still can't find my fucking exacto knife.