I'm in a bad mood

5 things I loved this week:

1.  I love having the biggest paper cut of my life on my middle finger.  I love not knowing where I got it from so I don't even know how to prevent it happening again.


2. I loved being too spineless and slow-thinking to stop the disabled guy that works next to the shop from hugging me. Before the shut down, when he saw me he expected a hug and I never minded because I had nothing to lose. Now, hugs have a different meaning. And I love being ashamed for becoming rigid like a board while he hugged me, instead of being a normal person and saying, hey I don't feel comfortable hugging you. 


3. I love looking for apartments to rent, but not being able to actually rent them because I am unemployed and you have to have proof of employment to rent. I love not knowing where my life is going.


4. I love the helpless feeling of not knowing how to help the ones I love.


5. I love feeling like my closest friend doesn't ever want to be close to me again. I wish I had fought harder at the beginning of this to keep being around them. I had spent every day with them up until that point. If I had it, then they had it. Now it's too late and they're treating me like I'm contaminated.