repellent

I hate to admit this, but one of those stupid facebook quizzes really fucked me up.

I keep thinking about it over and over. It was one called 'how easy to love are you?' and my friend JG got 101% and Smells got 7% and I was laughing to myself like ha, I'm totally more lovable. And goddammit I only got 1%. That fucker said I'm hard to love.

To make things worse, I'm trying not to take it personally that nobody invited me to see star wars for the opening today. I'm a little bit hurt though.

I want to be that cool person that's happy that my "friends" (just kidding about the quotes) are happy and seeing a movie franchise they love, even if I'm also a little jealous that I am apparently easily forgotten.

This all very much has to do with the fact that I have been feeling like I've been taking care of everybody around me lately and there's nobody to take care of me. I mean, I am taken care of. I'm spoiled as hell. It's kind of nice to feel like I'm being taken care of though. 

I have to get my oil changed tomorrow and I have never had to go by myself and I feel very anxious about it.