badass food pyramid

clutch

I'm not a great writer. I don't claim to be. That's probably why only 5 (if that) people read my blog. I'm bringing this up because I had to take JSU's English Competency Exam on Wednesday. It's required, unfortunately. I will be deeply, deeply surprised if I pass, and to be honest a little disappointed. If I pass, that means the standards that these English teachers are holding JSU students to are ridiculously low. Maybe they don't focus so much on content. I'll surely pass then. Cause I've got grammar on lock. Probably. "Daddy don't mess up on syntax." Dr. G said this Wednesday and it was weird and adorable. He has small children who probably call him 'daddy' so I guess it's okay. If he did not, then I would be less forgiving of his use of  'daddy' in third person.


Here is an enthralling conversation that I had with an anonymous person through my cellular device...
Texter: Why you tell me to find somebody to do it
Me: What?
Texter: You know baby
Me: Maybe you have the wrong number?

You know how I know that this person is a stranger? Because this person is just so awesome with words & I can't think of anybody that I know in real life who is that awesome with words.
Also, see how they used "baby"? I don't get called baby very often. Surprising, I know.
I'm really curious about the subject of the text message. Why did I tell them to find somebody to do it? What is that somebody going to do? My mind automatically assumes a sex thing. How could you expect anything less from me?

Here's a vidya my grandmother made of balloons because she didn't realize it was on video mode.

In sickness

I went to Jenna & Steven's wedding. It was pretty. Here's a picture.

It was a grand occasion.


Now my nose has turned into a leaky faucet. I dread the next few days because I can currently feel how much my body hates me, but I know it can get worse. And in the next few days, it will. I feel guilty for being sick & germy around the old people I have to live with, but what am I supposed to do? I already quarantined myself off into my bedroom, but my lovely, caring grandmother keeps coming to check on me. She is just asking for the germs to invade.

On top of all that, it is 1:49am and I still have 3 art things that I need to finish. I can only foresee finishing one before I pass out & sleep for days. Except I can't sleep for days. If I wasn't such a poor planner, I would put my life on pause & just Rip Van Winkle through the rest of the week, but I can't miss my damn drawing class or else I'll fail. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Funny haha or funny weird?

MJ calls me funny quite often & I always ask which kind. The answer varies.

I like to surround myself with people of a certain sense of humor. People who say things with a touch of irony & you can't actually tell if they're being serious. I can't stand it when a person needs to clarify that they're just kidding. (I know I do that & it's a character flaw.)
Things I think are hilarious:
-Hyperbole.
-twitter.com/ADAMDEVINE
-Poop and fart jokes. I can't help it, I'm like a 5 year old boy.
-youtube.com/badlipreading
-People talking in their sleep.
-This dude in my CS class. For the sake of the story, I'll refer to him as M. The most recent example of his hilariosity was on Wednesday. Dr. G had received a tract(btdubs, I did not know what a tract was until Dr. G explained it.) from a math major in our class & he got into a little bit of a discussion about 4 year olds and salvation and crap like that. Well another dude from the back of the class was like come on, hash it out. & Dr. G was like, should I really? & THEN M goes, "Is it going to be on the test?"



Saw this on the internet;
“Make sure you marry someone who laughs at the same things you do.”
Sounds promising so I might keep it in mind.

Go read a thesaurus

I'm not very good at jokes!


Read any single one of Justin Bieber's tweets and you'll realize why kids should stay in school. Poor thing can barely communicate. I'm not here to judge the guy because who am I to judge? I can't even spell "opportunity" right, but listen... I do know that "could of" is not real. There is no such thing as "could of." That's not a thing. It is "could've." I promise.


I was going to go to bed early, but the internet happened. Seriously said this to MJ yesterday, "Should I go to sleep and not do my homework or should I just sleep?" Ha. Nope.

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”

― Kurt Vonnegut

I'm having one of those moments where I want to e-mail something to explain a thing that I wrote, but if I e-mail again it's verging on spam or crazy person. I just want them to know that I totally know what that word means and I know how to use it properly, even if it doesn't seem like it. Caring is a burden.

I just remembered sarcasm is a thing. Maybe it will be interpreted as sarcasm.

#SORRYSOVAGUE

Hyperbole

You know that Adele song, "Chasing Pavements"? It kind of sounds like she's singing "Should I get up or sleep in like Jason Bateman?"  I was thinking, what if that was really what Adele sang. Then I thought, well that doesn't make sense because how would a person know if Jason Bateman sleeps in a lot. Then I thought, Who cares if a song makes sense? That's called poetic license. Take "Human" by the Killers. My point exactly.

Turns out I didn't have any time this weekend to finish Lord of the Rings. I will try to read it instead. I can usually pick up a book and put it down with no problems. A movie is harder to do that with.

I've been helping Jenner with her wedding stuff, that's pretty much why I couldn't watch it. It feels like she's having a huge birthday party, not like she's getting married. I'm excited. If only I had a +1.

Saw Pitch Perfect last friday. It was the best movie ever. Hyperbole.

Just 4 adorable dudes singing it out.

P.S. How did Sherlock live in the last episode? HOW?

Lots of LOTR references

Guess what my favorite cup is...

I hate being that person who doesn't get references so I'm going to watch it now. Bye.

Getting ready

I have this dress that I'm going to wear for Jenner's wedding & it looks like :

 Well I don't know if you can tell, but the belt that came with it is a very dark brown. It is super hard to find shoes that are a very dark brown. So instead I found these :

I adore these shoes. They encapsulate everything I love about shoes. So I don't really care if the brown is the right brown... I'm going to wear them anyway. A teensy little part of me really wants them to match though because I don't want to look like a huge dork. I mean, I don't mind looking like a huge dork, as long as I'm doing it intentionally.
This could all be easily solved if I could find a new belt to go with the dress. The wedding's on the 13th & I don't think that's enough time.

Emotion

I just had this brilliant idea for my art project. We have to use lines to express certain emotions and one of the emotions that I still have yet to define is trust. I don't even that's the correct definition of an emotion, but that doesn't matter because I still have to draw it anyway. So my idea came to me all of a sudden, as they often do. I was thinking "who is the most trustworthy person I know?" Then I thought, the Doctor! How freaking brilliant of me, right?! I'm using a cropped thumbnail of the Doctor's name in Galifreyan. I'm pretty curious to hear what people are going to say about it at the critique. Because it will irrefutably be the best one.