Like, Holy Shit

Why did nobody tell me about god damn spanx?! I'm probably the most self-conscious person on the face of this planet. My belly's too bulgy and my feet are too big and my arms are jiggly and my hair is frizzy, but fucking spanx guys! Seriously.  I love dresses. I really, really do. The only thing is that the cute sundressy types are very thin and you can see ALL the ugly parts, so I tend to buy all sorts of cute dresses, but I never wear them because they make me uncomfortable. But today I found this adorable dress that I just had to have. The only problem was that my bottom half looked all bulgy in the dress. I thought, I wonder if there's such a thing that would instantly make me less bulgy. I mean, ultimately I would like to look like I'm wearing spanx, without actually having to wear spanx, but holy fuck! They are so awesome. So many dresses in my future.

But I'm thinking that spanx will be sticking around for at least a little while longer because I've had a weekend full of binge-ing. G&P are out of town so I've been eating all of the things. ALL OF THE THINGS.

I'm beginning to realize that I'm going to actually have to work this semester to keep my head above water. I'm not drowning yet, but I can feel it creeping. Winter break was so relaxing. I didn't have to constantly remember what I needed to get done. There wasn't anything that I really needed to get done over winter  break. Now I have tons of shit that I have to remember to get done. Sucks.

John Corbett is a super hot older guy.

Also, the title of this blog post is a pun because tomorrow I'm going to church! My jefe has finally worn me down and I'm going to go to her church. I'm hoping that this can be like a "okay, I went, now can we talk about something else please?" But I think maybe I've gotten myself into deeper shit by accepting her daily offer.  I know I talk down on religion here, but in real life, I'm much more blasé. (I had to ask Rosh how to spell blasé & I don't even think I used that correctly to mean what I mean.)