Day 1 in CO: "How, in the name of Zeus's butthole, did you get out of your cell?"

Tuesday, 4/28/2015

I did it! I went through ATL airport by myself. If you remember from a previous post, Rosh was supposed to accompany me, but she bailed. Because med students are just the worst. Anyway, to begin the day, I woke up to Smells smacking me because my alarm was going off. 1am. I took a shower and then we began our trek to ATL. The drive to Atlanta is almost familiar to me now because we had just gone there on Saturday to see Walk the Moon. Its familiarity does not remove its suckyness. The traffic was minimal. The only frustration was finding the frontier departures sign. Thank baby jesus that I met up with KG's mom the day before and she told me about that. It's funny what people remember about the experience they have at the airport. I had asked most people I came in contact with about airport tips and there were a lot of overlap, but each person had at least one unique thing to say. It's very interesting what people find worth mentioning. So back to the frontier departures sign, Smells stopped by person that was in uniform and I hopped out and asked the grumpy airport worker where the illusive sign was. I made it to the frontier desk and talked to this nice, but uncompromising lady with glitter green eye shadow. She asked me if I was checking a bag and I said yes and placed it on the metal thing. She put a sticker on my luggage and then whisked it away. Then I went through security. I didn't have to take my shoes off and I didn't have to take my laptop out, but I did accidentally leave my cell phone in my pocket and held up the line. Despite my blunder, people were super nice. At this point I'm confused about my liquids. I didn't even have to do anything with my liquids... Later, KG tells me that they care significantly less about checked luggage than they do about carry-ons. I could've packed so much more liquid. I went to my gate and I was there crazy early. I watched the sunrise. I bought and ate a delicious bagel. I'll be posting about my food from this trip in one big post at the end so you'll hear about the bagel again. 

OOTD: Airport Bathroom Edition

I wore this outfit to the airport because there's no belt involved and there's slip on shoes. I also didn't want to look like a slob. I was told that airplanes would be chilly so I wore a jacket. That was not the case with the airplane I was on. I was too warm the whole time. 

Stereotypical window of airplane shot. I loved take off. It was absolutely the best part. The actual flying part was boring. I was also extremely sleepy, having woken up at 1am so I drifted in and out of sleep most of the flight. I remember waking up when the food cart came by and a stewardess asked if I wanted to purchase a beverage or food. (I didn't.) Then I woke up to the fasten seat belt ding because there was a teensy bit of turbulence. I fastened my seat belt back up (I had it unbuckled because it was way more comfortable to sleep.) and I resumed my nap. Next thing I remember is one of the flight attendant saying that we would land soon, but they were very preemptive because it was like 30 minutes later before we landed. One thing I wish people told me was where the seat numbers were located on the plane because I looked like a right idiot when I couldn't figure out where my seat was. I should've just stopped and asked the flight attendant from the beginning, but nobody else was so I thought it would be obvious. I walked way too far into the plane and I had to turn around and ask the lady behind me. She was a little judgy of my ignorance. I then had to hold up the line so that I could get to my seat at the front of the plane. The people I sat next to were Hispanic and we interacted only twice. Once when they had to get up and let me into my seat and again when I was sitting on the lady's seat belt. The seats were more than I expected. I was uncomfortable, sure. It just wasn't as bad as everybody made them seem.

This is the picture I posted on facebook to tell our family that I found KG. Aren't we just sooo cute?

One of my friends from college messaged me right before we were about to eat and asked me what my grade for GD history was. I didn't even know grades were out yet, but I checked anyway. I keep waiting for the grades to change or I'll get an email saying "JK, we pressed the wrong key. you actually got all B's!" Which would be fine. But I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw all those A's. I really did not deserve 3/4 of them. But hey, that's the beauty of JSU. I need to call my grandmother and tell her.

We didn't go to this museum, but I really like the boldness of this billboard. "THE ART WORLD WAS HIS ENEMY"

I have discovered very quickly that Colorado sucks all the moisture from your body. A stop at target for chapstick and water was necessary. The targets in Colorado look just like targets in Alabama. 

We also played trivia & it was super fun. We had a great lead for a while except the sports round totally obliterated us. Every good trivia team needs a sports guy. Now I must watch all the Nick Cage movies. I didn't take any pictures because my phone was very dead and I had forgotten the magical charger that Keith let me borrow. Now that I'm thinking about it though, I should've asked KG to let me use her phone to take some... I'll keep that in mind for future reference.

How to stay up all night

A few short months ago, I was the person that was appalled when someone hadn't slept in 36+ hours. I loved sleep too much to fathom why anyone would take that beautiful non-awake time for granted. Now everything's changed. This semester has been my favorite semester. I've actually made friends and I've tried way harder this semester than I have any other semester.  Since I'm the kind of person that works up until the last second, no matter when I start, and since I'm slower than molasses, I have perfected* the art of staying up late.

• Listen to "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked" on repeat and connect to it on a level that you never have before.
• Run mostly on adrenaline. I don't particularly like coffee and energy drinks don't seem to work. (I tried to use sugar-free redbull to keep me awake during film class last Friday and I still slept through almost all of Macbeth.)
• Avoid driving as much as possible, but when you do have to drive somewhere, sing along to everything. It doesn't matter if you've never heard this song and you have no idea what the words are; sing along. Because for some reason, singing and talking helps you stay awake.
• Don't nap. If you do fall asleep just know that you will be asleep for a while because your body has no alarm clock and you will sleep through everything important. Napping also uses up valuable work time. 
• Try not to be concerned about how weird your body feels. Remember that you will eventually sleep and you will feel normal again.
• Laugh at your lack of restraint when you are speaking. You might become a huge smart aleck when you haven't slept in a while. I know I do.
• It's okay that all your days blend together into one long one. The differentiation of days is not that important.
• Consign yourself to the notion that you smell like BO. For some reason, sleeplessness affects antiperspirant effectiveness and so when you hit the 24 hour mark and onward, you will be stinky. Plan accordingly. Use plenty of extra deodorant and add in some body spray for good measure. 
• Have a ton of things lined up that you have to do. Make sure that only a minute of mediation is all you have time for because you're so busy getting things done.
• Remember that your emotions are elevated because of lack of sleep. Everything will make you cry. Good things. Bad things. Doesn't matter. Crying will happen.
• No matter what happens, time will still move forward. Sometimes it's comforting to know that this too shall pass.
• Realize and think about how you're not alone. You're not the only person to ever pull an all nighter. It'll be okay.

*I use the word perfected loosely.

my babies!!!!!!1!!!!!

Okay so when I started loving Walk the Moon, they had already reached a certain level of fame because they had been picked up by Sirius/XM radio station, Alt Nation. Of course, alt nation boasts it's new music radar and I'm pretty sure Walk the Moon was picked up on the radar with "Anna Sun." But still satellite radio denotes a certain level of fame.
At that point, I'm telling people how great WTM is and they have no idea what in the world that is. So they hadn't hit top 40 fame. But they were Vevo on youtube famous.
The first concert that I attended was so cute and good and happy and we showed up late and were still on the fourth or fifth row of people. The concert was abundant with teenage waif-type hipster girls.
At the latest concert I went to, I was kind of astonished at the variety of folks in the crowd. Lots of factors go into who is at a concert, but I felt like this meant something.
A couple of days ago, I was staying late in the GD lab and a class mate, who most of the time hums recognizable tunes, suddenly starts with a hmmm-mm humhum mmwith meee. And my head shot up. "Are you humming Walk the Moon?" "Um... no, I don't think so." "Are you humming 'Shut Up And Dance'?" "Yes!" "That's Walk The Moon! They're my favorite band!" "Oh yeah, I like them, too!"
I mean, what are the chances of that? That she would hum my favorite band in the presence of me! Probably pretty high because they are becoming way more well known.
Today, my phone started ringing in class (ringtone is "Shut up and dance" of course) and people started singing along! That means fame! Top 40 fame!
In the new Vlogbrothers' video, Hank uses part of SUAD in a weird part of the video! That is another different kind of fame! It's cool!
Edit: Okay youtube made Hank take out that part of the video, but I promise it was in there and it was great.

I passed a car today that was blasting Shut Up and Dance and I cheered.
My friend posted a snapchat story that involved him listening to Shut Up and Dance in his car and I had to send him a snap and tell him that they're my favorite.

I want everybody to love Walk the Moon just as much as I do.

3 things I totally endorse this week

Even though I make a laughable(as in, 'ha ha that number is so small') amount of money at my part-time job, I still purchase lots of frivolous things. I really don't have that much that I have to pay for and I don't save any (I know I should, shut up) so I just spend it on stuff I want. Sometimes it's a waste, but sometimes not. Here's a list of things that are completely worthy of foolish spending.


1. I may have a water bottle infatuation.
I talked about a glass bottle in this post that I got and I'll give you an updated review. It's still very pretty. It's still very hefty. The fact that it's so tall and skinny makes it very precarious and easy to tip over. I rarely use it now. The rubber near where the lip of the bottle is smells very mildew-y. I know that there's no mildew there because I've washed it so many times. I think that the water here in Alabama just has a weird smell when it lingers on an item for any amount of time and I've just always associated that with mildew. I can't stand it. I have such an aversion to that smell. So now I've stopped using that water bottle. I hate to say this, but this happens to a lot of my water bottles. I feel like they're not clean or they start smelling weird and I have to stop using them. But I love them so much so I keep searching for the perfect one.
Recently, I gave into my desires and bought a water bottle from target. Target is pretty much where I spend all of my paychecks. They just sell the things that have the look that I want to surround myself with. So they had a bazillion water bottles, presumably because it's spring and I guess spring means drink more water from portable receptacles? Sure. I looked at every single one and picked out my favorite. It looks like this...

It's from a company called contigo. I love that it's 'with you' in Spanish. It opens up in two places so it's hella easy to clean. And there's no rubber near the drinking part so hopefully it won't smell. It's short and fat and cute. Just so's you know, they have way better colors in target than contigo has on their website. I was debating between this color and another color called 'watermelon' because girl, I love me some colors that are also names of food. I ultimately picked this one because it's turquoise and a couple weeks ago a friend of mine said the word turquoise and pronounced it "turkwoise" and it cracked me up. The little loop on the top is cool. I didn't realize until weeks after I had bought it that it's not perfectly straight. I looked at it one day and was like, shit I bent it, but then I was like, wait. It's really supposed to be like that. It's very ergonomic. As of right now, A+.

2. Sunglasses. 

I love cheap sunglasses. I've never seen the appeal of paying $200 for a pair when you can get a really cool pair for less than $20. I guess you might also be paying for legitimate eye protection when you pay that much, but come on, who cares. So I had seen these sunglasses on a fashion blog and I have had them in my amazon wishlist for a month or two. 

I love the gruesome nature of the seemingly innocent phrase we used to say as children. And it really calls attention to the gruesomeness when the phrase is so close to the eyeball. I love it. I love them. I'm so scared I'll lose them so I might buy a few more pairs in all of the colors available. 

3. I'M GOING TO COLORADO!

My lovely cousin lives in Colorado and I have talked about visiting her ever since she moved out there. You know how I am though, I hate doing things by myself. At least, I hate doing new things by myself. It makes me very anxious and I hate it. I just need someone there to give me confidence and I'm fine. I decided Rosh needed to be the person to come with me because I love her and we love Kaia and basically, it just all makes sense. We have been talking about it forever. We always do that, because I think that's just what friends do. You talk about doing something over and over and sometimes it never actually happens. BUT THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN. We have the plane tickets. Only 23 more days! I have already began packing. Right when Rosh messaged me and told me that she was free, and asked if I was free, and suggested that we make a trip, I bought these cute little contact solutions. 

We had not even confirmed with Kaia if we could stay or not at that point, but that might tell you how excited I am. I AM SO EXCITED. I think it's silly to have a restriction on liquids on planes, but I love the excuse to have these tiny little things! I bought two different brands because I couldn't remember which one was my regular brand that I use. I figured they were probably both okay and that I probably picked one that is the one I usually use. (I was correct; I usually use the one on the right.) I couldn't remember because I don't buy it that often since it comes in, like, gallon jug size in a twin pack. Anyway, cute, right?

My favorite class

I have waited and watched enough to warrant a whole post about it. If you can believe it, I've seen all these and I'm still 12 behind, plus 6 more that I'm not behind, but still have to watch. I've got 2 weeks and if I'm very diligent, I think I can finish before the final.

Moving Images Update:
Mulholland Drive, Lynch, 2001 - So so so strange. My professor explained the movie to us afterward and I liked it a little more after that. I love when things have reasons, but I also love when they don't. This movie could work both ways. I can't say I loved it, but I appreciate it.
Easy Rider, Hopper, 1969 - Great soundtrack and young Jack Nicholson was great. I didn't really connect to the plot, but I guess that's okay because it seemed to mostly be about drugs and motorcycles.
Shock Corridor, Fuller, 1964 - People keep telling me to fake it 'til you make it, and I would say this movie is a great example of pretending to be something until it's true.
Satan’s Brew, Fassbinder, 1976 - I just watched this yesterday with a group of friends from class. We weren't even paying full attention to the movie and it was still rough. It's in German with subtitles. It's so weird and not the good kind. I don't want to ever watch it again.
Who are you Polly Maggoo, Klien, 1966 - It's french so everything is pretty. I liked the commentary on discerning what's real and what's fake in this life of ours.
Kind Hearts and Coronets, Hamer, 1949 - Funniest voice over. Lots of murder. It was a fun time.
Frasier: Season 5 - I had seen a few episodes of Frasier, but it must've been from a later season. I can totally see why Dr. J loves this show.
Doctor Who (reboot), Seasons 1-2 - Of course, I had already seen these. I re-watched most of them though. I had forgotten about the episode Love & Monsters and it's one of my favorites. It's sad and absurd and funny and beautiful, which are all of the reasons I love the show. Me and about 80% of my class did a response project on Doctor Who. Here's mine.

Barrow, The Doctor Goes To The Doctor, 2015

The Night of the Hunter, Laughton, 1955 - I loved this movie. It really spoke to me for some reason. I loved the hilarious little girl, the weirdly beautiful dead body, the creepy preacher that used religion for evil, the hard-nosed lady that used religion for good, the fact that it's pretty much a fairy tale. It was just good.
Lord of the Flies, Brook, 1963 - It's fucked up that humans would reduce to this, and the way the movie was shot made it feel so documentary-like and realistic. I kind of want to read the book now.
Sisters, De Palam, 1974 - I described this to a friend in class as, "It's about conjoined twins... kind of." and my professor was like, "wtf, really?" but I stand by my statement.
Watership Down, Rosen, 1978 - I've seen this movie three times now and I still don't understand the beginning. I love the animation though. I think I'm going to do my final response project on it because I also love that it's animated movie, which are usually for children, that is so violent.
Macbeth, Polanski, 1971 - I slept on and off during this whole movie. When I wasn't sleeping, I was focusing on trying not to fall asleep. My sleeping has nothing to do with the quality of the movie, I just hadn't slept in about 24 hours so a dark room with people speaking Shakespearean English was a dangerous combination. I did fully wake up at the end when Macbeth's head was sliced off. That was exciting. I'll have to re-watch because I don't know that much about Macbeth, except for the witches and the fact it's called "The Scottish Play".
The Killing of a Chinese Bookie, Cassavetes, 1976 - It felt very 70's and I just wasn't that into it.
The Honeymoon Killers, Kastle, 1969 - Featuring Mobile, AL. The main lady really gave southern women a bad name and I hate that, but I guess real southern ladies give southern women a bad name so I suppose it's realistic. She was just a whiny brat and I wanted to slap her.
Eating Raoul, Bartel, 1982 - Very funny. Lots of irony and I freaking love irony. Super farce-y. It was also very eighties and I love that. I kind of half-watched while I was working on some stuff for school and I'll have to re-watch over the summer when I have some more time.

Believe in your fucking self

I've just brushed my teeth, flossed, mouthwashed, washed my face, took contacts out, moisturized my face, and cleaned (a tiny part of) my room. I would feel really accomplished about all this, but I've not even started on my typography homework, which is what I should be spending all of my time on. I'm not avoiding it because I hate it; it's because I love it and I know I'll spend too much time on it and it will still look like poop. I am still in that artist's stage in life where everything you try really hard at still sucks AND IT'S REALLY BUMMING ME OUT. I know that this is probably normal and I just have to trudge through to get to a point where I can make something and it looks okay. I'm aware of this and yet it still makes me want to quit.

Back to when I mentioned brushing my teeth and stuff. This probably doesn't seem like any kind of accomplishment to an outsider looking in. This is normal nightly routine stuff. But I am a disgusting shell of a person that previously did not have a nightly routine. I used to just skip all that crap and go to bed. I recently went to the dentist and was told that I have 4 cavities in 2 of my front teeth. They are not huge, in fact they are minuscule, but they apparently will not disappear with vigorous hygiene. I have to get them filled. I didn't think I was that upset about it, but it's obviously something that's been bothering me because I can not stop thinking about it. Like I don't care if they are a little visible, but I don't want them to be super visible because I tend to smile a lot and that could really lessen the effect of my smile. So now I'm trying to be a human adult that flosses and brushes teeth twice a day, so that I don't have any more infractions.
Since I'm already in the bathroom when I'm doing the teeth thing, I figured I should get my face sorted out while I'm in there as well. My face is a mess right now. It's never really been clear since I was 15, but there's been times where it's been less spotty. And really it may have to to with the fact that I just started my period and my hormones are like HAHAHAHAHA I HATE YOU HERE'S SOME PIMPLES. I think this has a lot to do with it because I got pimply about this same time 4 weeks ago and my brother was like, Ew what's up with your face. I remember telling him it was probably just my period and he ran away screaming. By the way, that whole water thing that I said I was going to try is not making any noticeable change in my complexion. My face wash routine is in it's infancy at the moment, meaning that I can't put water on my face without it dripping down my elbows and getting it all over the counter and I can't figure out the right amount of moisturizer to pump because I'm always left with a goopy face and a blob of unused left on my finger. I'm hoping that with time the process will age to perfection like a well-loved book or something else that's old and perfect.


In other news, I still can't find my fucking exacto knife.

Lavender

Things I haven't learned (& I'm not sure who to ask):
What is my style of art? Do I even have one?
How do you find time to create personal art outside of class?
Why do I feel like a poser?
Is it necessary to guilty for wanting to spend some time doing nothing?
Why is sloshed such a fun word to say?
How do I overcome the paralysis of fear?
How long can I be awake and functional?
What am I doing?

business casual

(Moderately) Important Things I've Learned:
Pronounce W's as V's when referring to artists and composers
Be nice
Bluetooth headphones are the greatest invention
Printers are not actually evil
The amount of time given is how much time will be used
Loose lips sink ships
I can handle anything; even poorly handled is still handled
Sleep is to be cherished for it does not come around often enough
InDesign is lame compared to Illustrator, but comparisons shouldn't be made
You will get better at any software that you use everyday, even if you don't try to get better
Deadlines are an unfortunate necessity for me to complete anything
If I do not have a deadline, I will not complete the thing
Although, sometimes even if I do have a deadline, I don't complete the thing so there's no solution
Sometimes I suck at life
Remember to not be discouraged
It's heartbreaking to become close-ish with someone who is moving away soon
I am terrible at bullshitting on the spot
Mincing garlic by hand is not that worth the everlasting fingertip stench
Bye Felicia

Pieces of shit

Everything is dumb and terrible. I mostly had a lovely day today though. I was late to class. The university closed due to weather. I napped for 2.5 hours and it was glorious. I checked off a couple things off my to do list. I made pasta for dinner and I accidentally cooked the garlic bread too long. I watched about 6 episodes of Doctor Who season 2. We are talking about Doctor Who tomorrow in class and I was going to wear my dr. who shirt to class, but then I didn't to want to look like a huge dork. Then I realized I am a huge dork so it's okay. 

The other day, I asked my friend about advice on how to fix oily skin. Because she's a girl and she cares about that kind of crap. She asked if I was drinking enough water and suggested that I drink lots more. Really I had been feeling kind of parched lately and I know I haven't been drinking, but like 1 glass of water a day. I'm not sure how water and oily skin relates, but it's easy and real cheap. I've drank so much water in the last two days. Had to pee so freaking much. 

Here is a thing I made about a fake art exhibition. 

Good intentions

Hey Monday was so great! I actually felt liked and accepted by my peers! I didn't feel like the art dept was so cut throat and vicious! 

Barrow, It's Better Not To Look, 2015

This is a painting I did for Dr. J's class in response to the movie Repo Man, which is an excellent movie by the way. It's the scene near the end when the obnoxious punk gets vaporized. I painted the skeleton with florescent paint and the background with glow in the dark paint so that the whole thing would glow under blacklight. The streaky bits look kinda shitty, but I actually did that on purpose because in the movie the car looks very much like it was painted with glow in the dark paint. When I was watching the movie I knew I could recreate that. I'm going to have to go back in and add more glow in the dark paint though. The unevenness really bothers me. 

I used to hear my classmates talk about artwork that they do just for fun outside of class and I would think, oh shit maybe I'm kidding myself and I'll never be an artist because I didn't have any outside of class pieces. This semester though (and a little bit last semester from Dr. J's class) [Note to self: make a post about AH projects.], I've made a few things that I absolutely loved and would totally have made just for fun outside of class. That Repo Man painting is included in the fun stuff I would actually do in my free time category. It's not Louvre quality, but I love it. It's okay to be shitty at things.

snowsnowsnow

It snowwwwwwwwwed!
I fucking love the snow. I love living in a state that shuts down when it snows. I love going out in mismatched clothes because I don't actually have any appropriate snow clothes.
The university is opening back up tomorrow at 10am, but that is a total joke because there's no way 6 inches of snow is going to be off the roads by then.

This was when I thought I wanted to build a business professional snowman. I like this picture simply because my butt looks great here.

My cute neighbor was walking his dog and he came by and talked to me while I was building a snow man. That was cool. I've known him since we were little kids, but I almost never see him except in passing so I haven't done anything but wave to him in years. It was nice to catch up. Well he caught up with me and I very rudely forgot to ask him questions about his life. He's one of those charming southern gentlemen that asks about everybody in your family individually and how they're doing. Now that I think about it, I actually made a blog post the last time I talked to him and I think I said almost the exact thing then too. I'll have to search for it so I can see how long ago it's been. He asked if Smells was married or dating anybody and in my head I was like 'ugh why do you have to like her more than me' so nothing's changed really.

Before I came to bed, I checked on Vincent van Snow and he had completely fallen over. My grandmother joked that it made sense because Vincent was unbalanced anyway. #Toosoon.
Tomorrow if I fix him, I'm going to give him arms because I totally forgot to before.

Today was also a day jam packed full of social media interactions with my handsome coworker. He liked this picture and I just keep thinking, "Oh god why did he like this picture my chunk is showing." My grandmother has made me very self conscious about that strip of bare skin that sometimes (always) peeks out above my pants because she always feels the need to pull my shirt down for me, like I don't know it's happening. OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING AND I CAN'T STOP IT IT'S BASICALLY A LOST CAUSE. So anyway, I can't figure out why he liked this picture, except to be polite.

Oxfords not brogues

Making friends is hard. I keep trying to talk to one of the girls that I'm going to work with more after we move to the other office. She seems pretty friendly. And I'm like, "hey how's it going," and then I don't have any follow up questions. Also, for some reason I keep saying "that's awesome" way too often.

You know what's a shitty feeling? When you send a friend request to someone and they don't just immediately add you. This girl from class took like, a lot of days to respond to a facebook friend request. Another shitty feeling is sending an adorable Shakespeare Valentine facebook message to a boy and then they don't respond at all.

Excellent feeling: Sending that adorable Shakespeare Valentine to best friends and them responding with smiles and appreciation. <3

Kingsman was the greatest movie. Accents, over the top violence, and funny as hell. Perfection. Also, the main actor guy that plays Eggsy is hella handsome. I'm hopefully going to see it again soon. I've only got $35 budgeted for entertainment this month and I have plans that I have to spend it on so I dunno about that yet.

Did you see that I casually mentioned budget? I have made a budget. And I'm choosing to stick to it. I so desperately want to be financially secure.  I signed up for these 'You Need A Budget.' emails and they totally have enough humor in them to make me want to listen. And then I saw this blog mention that the YNAB program(normally $60) is free for college students and I googled it and found out that it was true. So that's nice.

IT IS FREEZING TODAY. I am not usually chilled this much because of my natural layer of insulation, but I am freezing and I'm wearing a huge sweater. Why are you doing this to me, weather?

How to deal with a hopeless crush

I am particularly prone to crushes. I always have been. I often wonder if others are affected by these ghastly things too and they are just way better at hiding it than me. Maybe I'm way better at hiding it than I think I am. One of my favorite blogger troupes is when an absurd question is asked and a person attempts to solve the problem. I have compiled a list of how I deal with a crush.  This list could make the crush you have worse, better or even disappear. Don't know which. What, you expected me to have all the answers?

• Debate all of the reasons they are so wrong for you.
• Imagine a bizarro world where you get to watch netflix marathons and make out with that person whenever.
• Think about that person doing regularly scheduled activities like clipping their fingernails or pooping.
• Listen to Paramore's crushcrushcrush on repeat, and at a high decibel.
• When you're in a conversation with this person, instead of listening to what they have to say, think about how pizza faced you look because 4 pimples sprouted up this morning out of nowhere, so when they stop talking there's an enormous silence because you definitely were not paying attention.
• Also, another way to not listen when they're talking is by just looking at their lovely face and thinking about how symmetrical/asymmetrical it is.
• Make a pro/con list about the things they've favorited on twitter.
• Remember that there was a time that you didn't even care about this person and they will eventually be replaced by a new crush.
• Since valentine's day is coming up, look at all the snarky bob's burgers valentine's that you could give to your crush if you were actually a couple.
• Try to remember not to do that thing where you're mean to them for no reason.
• When talking to the person, try to not say "so" before every adjective because you sound like an idiot.
• Smile when your friends tell you about the interactions they have with your crush because they know how much you want to know all the details.
• Drink strawberry crush because it is tastier than orange crush.
• Look up crush memes and laugh/cry to yourself.
• Don't play candy crush because that game got lame.
• When you're in the same room with that person, alternate between hanging on their every word and ignoring them.

Follow this list and something will happen. Or nothing.

Happy Birthday

My grandmother, Uncle Bryan, cousin Luke and I had waffles and bacon and sausage in Papaw's honor. There was also pineapple cobbler, which he would have loved.

material girl

I purchased these a few minutes ago! I am very excite. They were supposedly the last pair in stock on amazon and I had an amazon gift card that was burning a hole in my pocket so now I am going to own these spectacular shoes.

Then I decided to type in "skull vans" into the google just to see if I had made a terrible rash decision and there were other better options.  I found these cool ones, but I'm happy with my purchase.

I want to note that the bottom right shoes are not vans, but they were in the search and also they are hella cool. None of these others are on amazon because I think they are all old styles that have come and gone, but they are all some that I would totally purchase in a split second decision just like the ones I actually bought.


Very materialistic, yes. I feel extremely fortunate to have extra money to be able to purchase a spare pair of shoes in a style that I have a choice over. It's almost absurd that I'm able to post on this blog and talk about these new shoes or really anything that I feel like sharing. Everything is strange and I like it.

Sidekick

Today, while I was at Walgreen's I received two hair compliments. I've been feeling pretty toadfaced lately so it's nice to know that at least my hair looks okay to some people.

A classmate told me today that it was like I perpetually had a black light shining on my face because of how vibrant my purple streak is.

Guess what my new love is. I'll just tell you. Anagrams. <3

I always forget that listening to music makes me feel better. I was just feeling so shitty and low self-esteemy. I started up my favorite playlist and immediately I feel better. Like, of course I want to be your sidekick.

Dr. J hates our GD His class so much that he's cancelling a full week of class. Okay only part of that sentence is true. Probably. I think he said he has a conference to go to. I will get to leave Jville at 4:30 on monday and tuesday next week yayyyyy. I think that also means I won't have class on friday. Unless he is going to hurry back to Jville for a friday class. Doubtful. We're supposed to use our time off to study, but I might instead use that time to re-watch MMFD. I could multitask.

The few episodes I've actually been able to watch, I have fully enjoyed this season of Parks & Rec, The Mindy Project, Agent Carter & Man Seeking Woman. In the William Henry Harrison episode of Parks and Rec, Ron Swanson said my name at least 2 times! They spelled Annabelle weird, but it's pronounced the same so it's okay. My name is still uncommon enough that it doesn't get said in pop culture that often. It's neat when I hear it. Even though the name Annabelle is almost never associated with a funny, sexy, awesome person. It's a cow, or a demonic doll, or a evil, hateful person. So if I were a blaming person, I'd have to blame my mom for naming me Annabelle and therefore turning me into a troll.

I'm just generally in a terrible mood. I want everybody to go away, but I also want a hug.

personality

I saw this and I had to go take a jung/myers-briggs test (http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp) because I couldn't remember my letters. The fact that I had never seen this before and INFP is best suited for jobs like "Animator, Psychologist, Librarian, Author" is hilarious to me. I mean, I guess it's good that my personality aligns with what I think I like and am sort of good at. Recently, I've been thinking some about introversion/extroversion. I have always seen myself as an introvert, even though I know it's totally silly to define a person like that. No one is exactly one thing all of the time. A while back, I was talking to Rosh about how I think I'm becoming more extroverted. But I don't know. I enjoy spending bou cous of time with my friends and I usually will pick a night out with friends over sitting at home. I am also loud and boisterous and enjoy talking about myself. All the type indicator tests I've ever taken seem to think I'm leaning toward introverted though. Which makes me wonder, are two intoverts compatible? Or, to have a long-lasting relationship, should you match with someone more opposite than you are? I wish there were definite answers, but I know better. Just something I think about all too often.

Them good girls straight masterpieces

I woke up from a nap about 2 hours ago. (Current time: 1:30am) I meant to only sleep for an hour and I slept for 6 hours instead. I guess I shouldn't call that a nap when I just slept. I had planned to work on some sketches for GD3 on saturday. Didn't do that. I'm going to try and stay up the rest of the day so maybe I won't waste my sunday. After I'm done with this I'll try to do something homework related.
So on Friday, Rosh had a future doctor talent show thing that she was involved in. I drove down and met up with everybody at the auditorium. I parked in the parking deck next to the place and when I got to the lady that was taking money, I misread the sign out front and asked, "Is it 3 or 5?" and she was like "Uh... it's 8" in the same way that Sadie would have said that statement.
The show was really well put together. The MC's were lame, but all MC's are usually lame so that's not their fault.

Lovely people dancing their lovely hearts out

Their dance moves were impeccable. I wasn't surprised by any means, but I was so impressed that they memorized a whole dance routine in the midst of their ultra busy lives. 

My phone died about 3/4 of the way through the show so I got zero pictures the rest of the night. And the night just got crazier from there.

After the show, we all went to an after party. There was about a million people there and all of them were drinking. The whole night I kept thinking, these people are going to be doctors. Which really made me think about the high standards that we hold doctors to. They're just like regular people, except better. Looking back, it was really nice to be around all of those drunk people and not have to worry about some dude drunkly hassling you. Which is what happened when we went to this bar after the after party. My friends and I had danced for what seemed like forever so one friend decided she was tired of dancing and wanted to go sit and chill. Me being me, I was also ready to sit so I went with her. We were able to sit for maybe 10 minutes without somebody coming up to us. This dude came up to  my friend and wanted her to dance with him and she explained that she was tired from standing all day and needed a little break. The he started asking me to dance and maybe I misunderstood him, but I'm pretty sure he said 'come dance' like 100 times. I think because I'm always smiling, he thought I was just kidding. He wasn't too forward and gross, but it was weird. He gave up after a time and said, "Well, I tried" and then he kissed us both on the forehead. Such a drunk person thing to do. He walked away and his friend came to apologize for him, but that was just a ploy for him to ask us to dance. Then we got him to go away and my friend noticed this group of guys that looked like they were going to come up to us so we decided to just go back over to the dance floor where our other friends were. My friend was telling me that she probably gone to dance, but her feet actually did hurt. I was more on the side of, dancing with a random stranger seemed uncomfortable and I didn't want to be in that situation. I was just so happy that the first guy didn't get rude when we turned him down. So everything was fine. I had 3 rum and cokes over the course of the night and they were tasty. We started drinking at the doctor after party and I had no idea what to get. It was a situation where you needed to know what you wanted when you got up to the bar because there were about 4 rows of people surrounding and trying to get to the bar. I asked the two friends that I was with what they were having and I just picked the one I thought I'd like better. And I only bought 2 of the 3 that I drank because one of Rosh's friends is very generous and bought drinks for everyone. Which was hella nice. Like the nicest. It was a good time. 

We came home at 4 something and slept until 11:30ish. Then I drove Rosh to get her car so she could go to a friend's birthday brunch. The rest of us went to panera and it was so delicious. Then we went back to the apartment to lounge and talk about whatever came to mind. 

I had a grand old time and I don't even regret doing nothing of substance on Saturday.

colloquially

This semester, my professors and classmates have connected everywhere on the internet. I wonder if I should remove my blog link from my pinterest and other places where I have it displayed. I am concerned that it will be looked at by my professors or a classmate or more importantly, somebody I have a crush on. Okay there's a slim chance that anyone will click on the link, but there's not zero chance. I don't know. On the one hand, I am embarrassed. On the other, I am totally unconcerned.

Remember when I talked about how Dr. J finds our GD history class boring. Well it's even worse than that. The next day when I was in class, Dr. J got brought up in conversation and I asked my friend who has his class for independent study if he had mentioned how much he hated my class. And he def had talked about it. She said he was appalled(my word, not hers) that we didn't know what parchment, papyrus, or vellum was. And I must defend myself here and say that I do know what it is, but he had asked in class what it was made from. I had no idea that parchment and vellum was made from animal skins! She was telling me that I should speak up if I knew any correct answers because he thinks we're all idiots. And the sad thing is, I'm one of the 3-4 people that speaks and one of the 2 that speaks regularly. I talk all the fucking time. When I don't say anything is when I'm trying to let somebody else take the reins, or if I am totally clueless and don't feel like making an ass out of myself. Most of the time, though, I don't even really care about that and I'll still talk, even if I'm wrong. I was telling P and M about how miserable that class is now and P was like, who cares if anybody speaks; he's getting paid to lecture. M told me I should ask my classmates why they aren't saying anything and try to convince them to help me out. Uh god I just remembered I have 1000 pages to read for that class before monday. Shit.

On Friday, P and I visited our new office, the building where the cutest person ever also works. I am always so delighted when we go over there and he comes to hang out with us while we're talking about what decorations we still need in the new office. And so far every time I've been over there, he has sought us out. Which I am sure has nothing to do with me in particular, but wouldn't that be sweet if it did. We were joking about what we should put on the bookshelves and the guy who works in the office next to us pulled out this book that someone he knew had written. The fact that it was published is bonkers. I mean, I know I mess up grammar and use slang most of the time on this blog, but I am doing that to make myself laugh and also because I like the way it looks. I was told this dude was being serious though. He comma spliced hardcore. Handsome coworker volunteered to read us a passage and before this point, I thought, how could he possibly get any cuter, and then he did.
Sometime in when all of us were standing around talking, Handsome coworker looks at me and says, "I like your shirt." At least, I think that's what he said. I said thank you, which felt like a lame response and I wish I had said, 'I like your face' instead. At the time, I remembered that M had given me advice in a situation like this, but I could not remember what the advice was. By the time I remembered, too much time had elapsed. Plus I chickened out because there were two other people standing between us and they would be witness to what would probably be a hugely embarrassing situation thanks to me.

Okay. Until next time.

into memory

It's strange how humans mark the passage of time. How a year is significant. I guess it is.

It's been a year. I still think about him every day. I can hear his voice in my head and it still makes my eyes well up.