Ironically?

I'm never confident when using the word "ironically", but anyway, in a matter of happenstance, the thing that has made me feel better has been spending money. I wished for 3000 dollars and was cursed to be late to work and now I've gone to walgreens on my lunch break and bought things to make me free of guilt and happy again.

Dippin' dots just make me sooooo happy and one of my lovely friends from school told  me that walgreens sells them. Have I mentioned that in a previous post? Oh well it's worth mentioning again. It's so simple, dippin' dots, but I love that about it. It also reminds me of my grandfather taking us grandkids to the dippin' dots ice cream shop in Florida, which is a memory I hold very dear. I also noticed that that walgreens has mini $1 bags of cheese curls. That's the best. I haven't found them at my walgreens back home.

I also bought a movie ticket to TFIOS and The Night Before Our Stars (an unprecedented event). Is it weird that I didn't and don't plan to invite anyone to go with me because I don't feel comfortable enough with anyone to ugly cry that much in front of them. Strangers, I don't mind that much. I am so unbelievably pumped.


And now I feel fine.

Late again

This morning I jolted up at 8:15am and I was supposed to be at work at 8am.

This is problematic for a number of reasons, number one being that it takes me 30 minutes to drive to work. Even if I rolled out of bed and walked to the car in all of my greasy, bed-headed glory, that's still 45 minutes late. I have absolutely no idea how I slept through 2 alarms. I woke up at 6:45am just fine yesterday and the day before. What's crazy is even before I looked at my clock, I knew that I was late. That's why I used jolted at the beginning of this paragraph.
Now I have this tail between my legs feeling that will last for at least another 5 hours. It usually doesn't matter how "late" I am because most of the time I make my own schedule, but some days I have a responsibility and I have to be on time. It's shitty of me, but I'm late so often. I always have people to apologize to for tardiness. If you can count on me for anything, it's that I'll be late. I don't think I'm accumulating strikes, but what if I am? I'm on the last straw, surely.
What really annoys me, and it shouldn't annoy me, is that my grandmother didn't come wake me at 7:45am. It's not her responsibility. BUT she has this remarkable ability to pick days to wake me when I don't actually have to be there early and then she gets upset at me because I haven't told her I'm sleeping in. The days where it could be useful to me, she lets me sleep undisturbed. I know she could hear my alarm clocks. Does she think I play them for fun? I shouldn't be irritated.

It's far fetched, but here's why I think I overslept: Because I wished for $3000 dollars right before I drifted off to sleep. The powers of the universe heard that and were like, "Haha fuck you."

funny

In the past month, I've ripped a pair of jeans in the thigh and just now I've ripped my pajamas in the thigh and I'm feeling like a real fatty.

In other news, I hung out with the cutest pitbull puppy today. He was outside when I was washing the cars and he chilled in the shade of the garage. Maybe it wasn't a pitbull. I don't know dog breeds, but it looked like the kind of dog that the Wheatons have.

Finished project ohhh yeahhh

Look at this cute picture from a past weekend when I was home. I guess it was last weekend.

I stole this from one of the girls in the photooo and it's a cute little sandwich of us. I like it very much.

That very same weekend, me and the fam tried a new restaurant and I think it's my new favorite. They just have everything I like. Also, my mom found this book that my brother made when he was a youngster. It's hilarious, but I don't know if it's universally hilarious or just hilarious because he's my brother.

I mean, no. It is just hilarious.

13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.

I'm thinking that since this isn't an interview where I have to disguise my weaknesses as strengths,  I can just say 5 cute things that I have an affinity for because that's what a weakness in the real world is, right? I don't have to describe how horrible my character actually is because this is my blog and I can do what I want.

1. Fruit flavored soda
2. < $5 sunglasses (Oh YEAH wink)
3. Polite men
4. Books
5. Diy projects

12. Describe a typical day in your current life.

This post could also be titled, "I stayed up until 5am watching youtube videos again."
I wish this were an isolated incident, but I can't truthfully say that it is. For some reason when I get on a playlist of videos that I like and want to watch I can't tear myself away and I can't force myself to sleep. I guess I'm being dramatic. I could actually make myself stop. I just don't.
So this is probably a very typical day.
I always check my phone first thing in the morning. First thing I do when I open my eyes. Sometimes I think I check it in my sleep because the other day I could have sworn that I responded to a tweet one morning and then when I tried to find it later in the day to make sure of no spelling errors, I couldn't find the blasted tweet anywhere. I have to think my brain made it up.
Okay so then I scramble up a clean outfit to wear when I get out of the shower and I take that set into the bathroom with me because I do not walk around naked in my grandparents' house even if the bathroom is three steps from my room. Shower commences. I find that taking a shower in the morning balances my life and brings me peace throughout the onslaught of the day. I fear I will never be a nighttime shower-er.
Next I brush teeth, slather deodorant, don shoes, grab keys, say goodbye, exit house, enter vehicle.
After I've sufficiently piloted my car for approx. 23-26 minutes depending on traffic, I locate and obtain a parking spot labeled silver and I take an elevator ride to the second story of campus where my office building is and I sit. Depending on the needs for the day, sometimes I sit in different parts of the building. Invariably, someone will ask me if I'm taking a summer class. I don't know the right answer to this question because either way I answer, I get the same response, "Oh, cool" which makes me think that it sucks that the only thing people can think to talk to me about is summer classes and damn that's boring. I must be really vile and terrible and boring. Anyway, sometimes when I'm at work I have to stand. That's very rare. I worry about deep vein thrombosis occasionally. Not enough, but some.
Then when the day is done, I return to la casa and I sometimes have to whip up dinner and sometimes not. Sometimes there's a show that's been recorded that needs watching and sometimes not. At some point every night, I retreat to the solace of my bedroom and I watch videos. Sometimes youtube, sometimes not.
Then sometimes I sleep.

That would be an extraordinarily typical day.

I don't know

So here's why Chris Pratt is the perfect dude:

Or maybe the perfect dude for me? He posted this on instagram the other day of, I'm assuming, his wife's hair that he himself french braided. I don't know if I've told anybody else this, but I know I've told my mom about 100 times that all I want is a straight dude that knows how to french braid. Not to mention Chris Pratt is hilarious and an incredible actor and probably a super cool dad to his adorable son. I hope he is genuinely great in real life. And I hope he and Anna Faris are genuinely happy.

I know the old stand by is to say that you shouldn't think about getting a boyfriend because that's what's hindering you from getting one and if you'll forget about it, it'll happen.
Well I partially believe that, but I also believe there are probably other way more significant reasons why I don't have a boyfriend. And also the idea that it'll happen without me seeing it coming really gives me anxiety so I'll just keep thinking about potential boyfriends.

In my head, this is the perfect dude for me:

• French braids.
• Can cook well. Does not have to be classically trained.
• Dark hair and dark eyes. (Because I'm shallow and care about looks kinda.)
• Other than American accent. (Maybe a British man that signs his texts with a cute little 'xx'. Because they do that over there and it makes me swoon.)
• Total geek about some things that I'm a total geek about.
• Reads my blog. (And isn't embarrassed.)
• Not intimidated by me. (Apparently that is a thing I can be/ because I am big and tall.)
• Good-natured and jovial most of the time.
• Has eye crinkles on account of being good-natured and jovial most of the time.
• Likes cats more than dogs.
• Listens to a good amount of the same music, but some differences to keep it interesting.
• Will kill the bugs.
• Loves me enough to get a tattoo dedicated to me. (I would never allow anyone to do that though.)
• Laughs at my jokes.

I watched Austenland today and the love story was so unbelievable that I loved it. I love when the characters are too good to be true and I love it when one of the characters realizes that their love is too good to be true and the other character tries to convince them that it's not and they're actually perfect for each other and everything will be fine. 

And that's all good and fine in the movies, but like if I met an actual guy in actual real life that fit all of these qualities, I'd probably be like whoa stalker get away from me you read my blog and memorized that stupid post I made what do you want I don't have any money.

#tuesday

I always like to have a show that I look forward to every week. The one that I watch the night it comes on instead of waiting until the weekend to catch up. This season it's The Mindy Project. I have watched the episodes since April 1st at least 4 or 5 times. Every single bit of that show is funny to me. All of it. All of the sides. The entire wiener. That joke makes no sense in this context, but I don't care! Look at me not caring! Tonight Mindy said this line that was so one of those, holy-shit-that-is-so-true-I've-thought-that-before-why-have-I-never-said-it-out-loud moments, that are so prevalent in the show. It was when she says, 'Look at her! She's sitting cross-legged on a bar stool! If I tried that, I'd humpty dumpty right off.' Or something relatively close to that. So good.

One of my co-workers asked me to help them out with these bags. The font was definitely not my top choice, but I aim to please.

It's almost like I'm taking horrible pictures intentionally, but I assure you, I'm not. I just suck. I'm actually glad it's so out of focus because then you can't notice the mishaps.

 So the co-worker gave me these bags on thursday of last week and I got them done on friday, but I couldn't take them to her because I had fudged on the bag that says Evan. I had originally thought that it would be good to do black letters, but once I painted it I realized how much it blends in with the blue. The picture below really is not a good example of how much black paint sucks on this color blue.

This picture shows why I will never feel like I could sell things that I make. I always fuck up and have to go buy new materials. I used the bag as a tester after I fucked up. And I still fucked up the new one.

I keep having these reoccurring dreams that take place in an abandoned outlet mall. Sometimes there's zombies, sometimes I'm like a spy, but always the same weird location that I don't recognize in real life. Last night I was at that mall and I had stolen everything from this asian restaurant and put everything out in the parking lot and I got away with it. Then after the restaurant replaced everything and opened up, I went in and ate there as a customer and everybody was very nice to me.

I also have a sore spot in my throat and I'm hoping it's just because my mouth is dry and it's not strep or some crap like that. 

No correlation of this sore throat situation to my dream, I think. Just that I happened to think of those things one right after the other.

Now to end this post with a shirt I made for my bro. He specifically asked for black on dark gray.

I almost forgot to mention the most important thing that happened to me this week! I got my new galaxy s3 in the mail! As previously stated, I bought a new one because I was an idiot to the last one! I would equate the sensation to that of a person who lost their hand in a disgusting accident that was totally their own fault and then they shelled out way too much money and bought a beautiful, much better version of a hand. Having my phone back is just like that.

11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

1. when a blog has a music player that automatically begins when you visit the page and then you have to sort through all your tabs to figure out which one is playing the dumb music
2. saying "I'm bored"
3. not using a blinker to turn
4. scrolling through facebook/twitter/instagram on your phone while we're hanging out. I don't care if you answer a text or look at notifications when you get them, that's fine, but if you're just mindlessly scrolling... come on
5. when the only thing you can do about something is complain, then maybe you shouldn't open your mouth
6. littering
7. not getting into the left turn lane until just right before you're going to turn left. GET IN THE TURN LANE ALREADY!
8. "I could care less" is probably not what you think it means
9. when someone obviously needs to blow their nose, but they haven't done it in a reasonable amount of time
10. leaving the lights on in an empty room that you aren't in

Yes, some of these are irrational. Even dumb, some might say. Unfortunately, this is not all of them that I have. This is a very hostile post and I'm sorry. Sometimes little annoyances make me the craziest.

Lady

Yesterday, I painted my fingers and toes and now I feel like a true lady. Because I never never never paint my fingernails. I have all this nail polish because I have this compulsion to buy new nail polishes whenever I see a pretty one at the store. I never ever wear it. I do not know how to apply it properly to end up with smooth nails. It is the devil.

Also, everything in pictures is a lie because I edited this picture to make it look like I've got some google glass shit going on. (I was going to say "make it look like I'm some kind of camera headed freak", but then I realized that there are cameras you can wear on your head. It's called google glass aND THE FUTURE IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW)

10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.

Let me be frank. I intentionally forget embarrassing moments. I do not dwell on them. If I did, I would cringe myself to sleep every night. I have, like, a real life super power where I can push the memories down real deep and if anything ever reminds me of a time when I was embarrassed, I can immediately replace that thought with something awesome that I did that I'm really proud of.
What can I say? It's a talent.

SPIRNG BERAK

To start off my spring break on the 23rd, I went to the Georgia aquarium with my some of my famz. It was tight.

{{{THE ABYSS}}}

Then the next day we had a sunday dinner and my uncle made this perfect, delicious cake. It had a chocolate cheesecake layer, that's how perfect it was. 

Then on Monday I made this:

Focaccia 

Tomato, basil, mozzarella pasta salad

And I took it to Birmingham to enjoy with these lovely knuckleheads:

I made & gave Rosh this shirt:

She seemed to like it.

Rosh and Bernard. Bernard is the cutest.

I went home to my parents house on Wednesday and George did this cute thing.

Wednesday night I decided I was going to fix the screen on my galaxy s3, which turned out poorly and left my phone in a vegetative state. I thought that I would have to use my brother's non smart phone for 3 weeks until I got paid and could afford to purchase a new galaxy. I told my parents about ruining my phone and they weren't that mad and my dad even remembered that he had his captivate, which is the same phone I had before it broke and I got my galaxy. So it's all good in the hood now. But I'm still going to buy another galaxy.

On Thursday I organized a lunch with ClaireyD, Bram, Luke, Brian, & AlexJohnson at Nothing but Noodles. It went swimmingly. Gave Luke an early bday present. I think he enjoyed it.

AlexJohnson invited me to trivia that night and it was the same group that went to lunch plus about ten more people. Our team name was Mo Money Mo Tacos :D and Bram won us the 3rd place $5 dollar gift card which he got to keep because it only seemed right. 

And then some people went back to Bram & AK's place and we watched an episode of fringe and then an episode of house hunters and then an episode of something on the cooking channel. And then and then and then and then and then and then and then.

That reminds me, am I the only one that didn't know that Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis were having a baby?! For some reason I always think of Ashton Kutcher as a perpetual bachelor.

This photo was an accident,
but it shows this awesome tardis blanket that I used
while I was at their house.

This shows how badly no one wanted to sit next to me.
That kind of offended me... but then AK sat next to me and
my insecurities decreased.

Today I ate some bangin' Panera with ClaireyD and had some invigorating conversation about literally everything and it was good. Then we went to zen beri and harassed Luke by text message and ate some fantastic gummy bears. Everything was awesome.


Most recently, I've been sat in my bed listening to Sebastian play video games and laughing hysterically at cat gifs and I also made some peanut butter cookies earlier. And now we're about to play battle block theater or n+ so I'm gonna go.

Jealousy

Look at this beautiful masterpiece. The Sorted food guys use it in their kitchen.

Here's why it appears to be better than the comparable kitchen aid:

• There's a spinny knob on the side instead of the little lever on each side of the arm of the mixer. 
  On the kitchen aid, the little levers look exactly the same and even though I've used a kitchen aid about 1000 times, I always go for the wrong one when I need to use it.
• The kenwood is so much sleeker and modern looking. Appeals to my design senses. The kitchen aid has a very old fashioned kitchen look going for it with the hardware, which is fine, but just not what I personally like.
• The kenwood can come in a stripey design. As far as I know, with the kitchen aid, if you want a design, you must add it yourself.

The only problem with the kenwood is that those silly Europeans use a different plug than we do. 

I've found some similar mixers with the spinny knob from amazon, but so far they're all just not quite right. Will keep looking.




EDIT://////////////////////////
OH MY GOD LOOK WHAT JUST HAPPENED 5 HOURS AGO.
>>>>>>SortedFood's tumblr<<<<<<
I mean, I only made a few gifs of the funny parts from their livestream so it's not like I did anything incredible, but I'VE BEEN RECOGNIZED BY THOSE HANDSOME DARLINGS. ;)

Transformation... saturday

We have this cat that loves to sit right up near the face. Always has.

Baby George

           

jus chillen

Bittersweet and strange

I'm doing a blog post to avoid bs-ing my way through a research paper. I think I might go to bed after this & just frantically do the paper in the morning.

So I have this reputation of being alright at craft projects. My cousins are really good at exploiting that, and it's okay, I let them. There's this gala thing that they decorate for every year and their theme is Beauty and the Beast. Here's some things I've made so far, in case you're curious & for my future reference:

I mean, don't judge my stuff based on my shitty photographs. I want a dslr sooooo very much.

feels

Ugh, the newest episode of My Mad Fat Diary is incredibly depressing. I shall remain hopeful. 2 episodes left and I'm confident they can turn it around.

Look at this miracle that happened today. Sorted food, the absolute gems, replied to me.

I wish I hadn't replied with the second tweet, but I can always delete it if I feel the need. They seem to respond to everybody and I love that. Those boys are all just precious little cupcakes.

tumblypoos

I have a tumblr. It's like a fun, hip version of this blog. But it's mine, so like, not really.
abellebearoh.tumblr.com

march 5

All of the people from college that I consider actual friends (well, actual enough that we're facebook friends) all have names that end in the long 'e'. [Ex. Marcyyy, Katieee, Tobyyy, Emilyyy, etc.] It was a coincidence until I noticed it & now I can only have friends at jsu with these type names. Okay that's a lie, I'll take all the friends I can get.


So I'm totally obsessed with #mymadfatdiary again. Nico Mirallegro is a god. I wish that it was popular in the states so that I could talk to people about it. Now all I can do is flail about it on tumblr.


I was watching a previous episode of sorted food and I had this flashback of a British bear show that I remember watching as a kid. At first I thought paddington, but the videos I've found don't look like my mind pictures. I was looking at the list of PBS shows to see if it was on there & I realized that I watched a shit ton of PBS when I was younger. It was quality programming.

Pearls

1. Money can’t buy happiness but

somehow, it’s more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle…

2. Forgive your enemy, but

remember the bastard’s name.

3. Help a man when he is trouble & he will remember you

when he is in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because

it’s illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then,

neither does milk.

A story about dog shit

I will never voluntarily own a dog. Dogs are so terrible. Their poop is like human poop. When they shit in the floor, it's like a human shit in the floor. Horrible. I have never made this distinction before, but I'm making it now. Cats are so much better to have as pets.
Let me tell you this mega dumb thing that happened today. I am dogsitting for my cousins this week and they have these 2 dachshunds and they don't know how/don't like to poop outside. So they always shit when I bring them inside. They usually shit in the dining room or near the bathroom in the shadows, which always made me think that they know what they're doing. Now I know that they know. I was sitting down on the couch eating my supper and one of the dogs took a shit right directly behind me in a totally abnormal place than they normally shit. Then I couldn't finish my supper. It was a shame.

relevant

Post by Rhett and Link.