Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless

I've watched quite a few videos of 21 pilots live performances and I've noticed that Josh Dun is so bouncy.


I have those after birthday blues. I don't know what it is. Maybe I build my birthday up too much and when it happens it never lives up to expectations. I mean, I know that nothing lives up to expectations, so I'm not sure why I'm surprised every year. It's not even that bad. I'm just being whiny.

You know it really bothers me when people say that you have to be "open" to having a relationship and to "not worry"and to just "ignore it" and it'll happen. One of my best friends is funnily having interactions with my handsome co-worker and I simultaneously hate her and want to be her. I don't really hate her. I could never. She should hate me actually. I'm a terrible friend. I'm very dramatic today.

I want to have a friend that tells me if my profile picture looks like me. I don't really care if I look good; I want to look realistic. I want to look how I look on a normal day-to-day.

College starts back on wednesday and I didn't get anything done related to my portfolio. Bah.

summer vacation

Staying at a hotel, or I mean staying in this hotel room, has made me realize how strangely similar it is to your own house, but things have been worn down in ways that you don't know about, by strangers.

Staying with G in a room is not as bad as I had assumed. She snores just a bit. The thing that's annoyed me the most has been her asking if I've locked the car doors every time we get out of the car. I've since asked her to stop that and she was only a little butthurt about it.

I felt embarrassed when we ate at Panini Pete's today because I had some chair problems. The kind of chairs they had were plastic patio chairs and as I was sitting on it, the legs started bowing out from underneath me. I hoped that it wasn't noticeable, but I was self conscious about it and I think I heard this family talking about it. Then when we were standing outside and I was waiting on G to get done in the bathroom, I heard one of the waitstaff say to another, "Yeah, that one needs a wipe down. It just had two glasses. And probably a new chair." That was shitty.

A lady at an art gallery saw my Einstein shirt and recommended a biography on Einstein by Walter Isaacson. She also recommended his book on Steve Jobs.

I haven't gotten a sunburn and that's all that really matters.

Consecutive

Doing 'Daily Things' is hard. I'm as consecutive as the weather is good. Does that sentence make sense? I'm like the weather.

My 100 day project has been neglected, but I'm going to finish it by September 8th. I'm going to! Maybe. I might give up. But I feel guilty about it.

I also have this 5 year journal that I haven't written in since June 18. So there's that. It's not that bad because I usually just go back through and fill in stuff with the help of social media and texts and random photos I took. Then I make stuff up for the rest of the days. But that's a while back.
I am supposed to be working on a very professional logo for my cousin-in-law. I was asked to do it probably around a year and a half ago. I was kind of hoping he forgot, but he just asked about it again recently. I don't know what I'm doing.
And I feel that way most of the time now. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing on that project. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I don't know what I'm doing with my hair. I'm constantly overwhelmed. I constantly feel like I'm agreeing to help people and then disappointing them. Very spiral-y.