Stating the facts

Today when I was at lunch with K, a really really really REALLY cute boy walked by us and smiled so big and said, "Hey, I like your hair." I hope he was talking to me because I said thank you. He made eye contact with me so I just have to think that he was directing that at me. I was right in the middle of telling a story to K and when he spoke, I was totally dumbfounded and could not remember what I was saying. I was thinking he was doing that thing you see in movies where a guy is nice to the ugly, fat friend to get in good graces with the pretty girl (K). Like, that was my gut instinct. It's not that deep; I know it. He simply liked my purple streak and wanted to say something. That's it. K was like, "if it's meant to be, it will be." Like she is some kind of fortune teller, haha. I promise I will never see that person ever again. But I can't help thinking about it over and over.
K and I went up to my office area and told P and M about that little interaction. M is pretty much the most clever and witty person alive and said that I should've responded,
"Hey, I like your face."
I MEAN COME ON how perfect. I would have never thought of that, but I love it.
I'm too boy crazy. It's not cool to be this way. I'm too much. I'm too eager to be loved by a normal cute boy that doesn't ask me for nudes and will hold my hand in public and kiss my cheek and has dreams and goals and also has great shoes. K was trying to give me some tips at lunch today, but I'm probably hopeless.

I had a dream about this youtuber last night.

We were dating and he came over to my house in Madison, and we went to my room, but it wasn't really my room. It was like a version of my room. It was messy and empty at the same time, I was rushing around my room and I was making my bed and I had these gray bed sheets(that I don't actually have in real life) and he wanted to watch spiderman 2, but I had lied about owning it. Then I woke up.


Maybe I'll be less superficial at some point, but this is my life now.

shut up and dance

ABOUT A MONTH UNTIL WALK THE MOONNNNNNNNNN


Guess how many times I've watched the two newest episodes of The Mindy Project. 7. And I'm about to watch "Annette Castellano Is My Nemesis" again, after I finish this podcast about Joe Bereta that I'm listening to.


This is a wordmark sketch from class. I'm not sure if I accomplished it this successfully, but I like it. I might move the 'gorey' somewhere else.

I so want to be a morning person. I have to go to sleep now so I can wake up early. Oh shoot I forgot I was going to watch Mindy. Just 20 more minutes.

weirds

I routinely try to make a conscious effort to post more on twitter, but when I think of something, I'm usually like nah I'll just put it on my blog. I like to save all of my awkward thoughts and spew them out here in one go so I can elaborate if I want.

For example, here's a gem that is exclusively on this blog, unless I decided to also put it on twitter, but that probably won't happen: Sweater fuzz is the bane of my existence.

I just want to wear my oversized sweater and look classy and warm and cuddly, but I mostly just look like a homely, sad, frumpy person.

Speaking of sweaters, I love them and I can't wait for it to be chilly weather to wear one at all times.

It's absurd how cold it is in my office building and in my AH class. It's like winter indoors.

That Tears For Fears song, Everybody Wants To Rule The World is a really good song that the stupid show the Voice reminded me of. The song's just so good, but when I looked it up on youtube it feels like something's missing from the song. But I think I could be miss-remembering. Is it in the Wedding singer or something? What movie have I seen that it's in? I don't know.

I spent my hard(well kind of) earned money on something so dumb and awesome last week! I bought a glass waterbottle! I know! Seems dumb! But it's just so cool. It tricks me into thinking I'm a healthy person that drinks an adequate amount of water. Also, I think I could use it to protect myself if I ever needed to in a pinch because it is so weighty. I am constantly refilling it because I love it and I want it to become an extension of my arm. That is a double edged sword though because it makes me have to pee every hour. I got up to pee last night at 1am and my getting up must have disturbed G because she came in my room to see if I was sick because it was so late(ha... late). Having to pee so often also makes me have those dreams where I'm already in the bathroom and it really freaks me out.

Sometimes I have to just leave tumblr. My feed is escalating out of control about all of the world's issues. There's never enough Sorted Food gifs.

14. Describe 5 strengths you have.

• I can pretend to be brave when it's really important.
• I'm not a particularly judgmental person.
• My demeanor tends to be an open one and that can make me seem approachable.
• I am hopeful like a baby. (I couldn't think of a great simile for this.)
• My advice is so sage. It's probably the sagest advice of all time.

ciento preguntas

I slept allllll day so I'm up all night doing homework that I put off til the last minute. Now I'm taking a break to answer these dumb questions that no one cares about but me.


1: Is there a boy/girl in your life? There are so many. Oh you mean romanitcally? No.

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? Sure.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” Cats.

4: What’s something you really want right now? A cute boy to flirty text with.

5: Are you afraid of falling in love? Ah no.

6: Do you like the beach? I do.

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Yeah. Plenty.

8: What’s the background on your cell?

It's a boy shhhhhh

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on? Mine's, my mom's, my grandmother's, my cousin's. Scandalous.

10: Do you like your phone? Yes.

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned? Sure.

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? Karrie.

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? Rottweiler because it makes me think of that 3oh3 song choke chain. 

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?  A person doesn't DIE from emotional pain. Plus I'm more afraid of physical pain so I'll go with that.

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Art museum x 10billion.

16: Are you tired? Nope.

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact? Like in alphabetical order? I've known him for 2 years.

18: Are they a relative? No.

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Ummm I don't know. It would take a lot.

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? I last talked to him Saturday morning, but kissed him a long time ago.

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? Yeah, let's go.

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Ummmm

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? Zero.

24: Is there a certain quote you live by? "Be soft."

25: What’s on your mind? Homework, my uterus, breakfast, exercising, a dude, cookies.

26: Do you have any tattoos? Yes, 2.

27: What is your favorite color? Bloo.

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? There's no way for me to know that. Probably never.

29: Who are you texting? My last text was 3 hours ago.

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? Ummm. Probably yes.

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Yes, because I am a psychic.

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Yes.

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you? No.

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yes.

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you, what would you do? Clap.

36: Were you single on Valentines Day? Yes.

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed? Yes.

38: What do your friends call you? Annabelle.

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week? Kind of.

40: Have you ever cried over a text? No.

41: Where’s your last bruise located? My knee.

42: What is it from? I think I hit it on my car door.

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? What does that even mean.

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with? My bawse.

45: Do you have a favorite pair of shoes? Yes.

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? No.

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style? Ah no. Maybe.

48: Do you make supper for your family? Yep.

49: Does your bedroom have a door? Um yes. 

50: Top 3 web-pages? Tumblr, Youtube, Gmail.

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping? Probably. That's not a huge topic of conversation.

52: Does anything on your body hurt? My head hurts a little.

53: Are goodbyes hard for you? I guess?

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Sunkist.

55: How is your hair? Bad.

56: What do you usually do first in the morning? Look at the time.

57: Do you think two people can last forever? No because death.

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single? Umm probably yes.

59: Green or purple grapes? I really like the purple ones.

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? Hard to say.

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Not really. My bed is pretty nice.

62: When will be the next time you text someone? Hard to say.

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now? Jacksonville.

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning? It hasn't been that time of day yet.

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked? Uhhh... no.

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Sure.

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today? Not as of yet.

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Haven't been to bed yet.

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? No.

70: How many windows are open on your computer? 6.

71: How many fingers do you have? The usual amount.

72: What is your ringtone? Shut up and dance.

73: How old will you be in 5 months? 23.

74: Where is your Mom right now? Umm could be at home or work.

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? It didn't work out.

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? No.

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Mostly.

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in 7th grade? No.

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? I don't know him really, but Mike Huttlestone.

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? Possibly.

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months? I don't even know.

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? No.

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I wish! But it's highly doubtful.

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? Wow. A stranger probably.

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? Yes, actually. I'm not a huge buzzkill, but I think drugs are boring.

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? I think I got in for free. 

87: Who was your last received call from? My boss.

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? Ew. Probably not. I hate butterflies so I don't even want to be near one long enough to burn it.

89: What is something you wish you had more of? Money. Will power. Self control.

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much? Probably yes.

91: Do you sleep with your window open? No.

92: Do you get along with girls? Yep.

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No.

94: Does sex mean love? No.

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? Nah, we cool.

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? No.

97: Did you sleep alone this week? Yes.

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? That is a strange blanket statement.

99: Do you believe in love at first sight? Sure!

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promised? I haven't the foggiest.

me again

I'm hoping that I'm going through a phase. I'm hoping that I am not actually a person who constantly says embarrassing things to people that I want to impress. I know that these hopes are for naught, because this blog is a written record that, yes, I am a cringe worthy person.
Handsome guy coworker passed through the office today and he said something and then I said something real dumb about how he should go get some cake and I should've said something witty and flattering instead, but my brain definitely isn't quick on it's feet.

I think I have perfected my chocolate chip cookie recipe. It's a good rule of thumb, if you want perfectly circle cookies then don't use a medium sized scoop that you stole(kind of) from taco bell to put 12 cookies on one pan. Only put 6. They still taste great if squished, but they're not very presentable and presentation is everything sometimes.

On to other things, today in the caf I had an experience that was uncomfortable. Usually I'm quite brazen in any given situation, but today I felt like people were eyeballing me in an unkind way and like whisper laughing, you know that thing where someone follows you with their eyes while they're talking and laughing to someone else. Not everything is about me, but it really made me feel that kind of fat person self conscious, the way Rae is in MMFD. That whole college caf situation is anxiety central for me. I do not like going in there, but the hummus and pita chips are really good. Plus another terrible thing, the shirt I wore today fit me badly and I felt out of place in it. Note to self: get rid of that white and tan stripey shirt. It sucks.

Hey here's a flaw that I've developed over time that really makes me terrible: I will have something that I NEED to do and then I'll just think, "Yeah, I'm not doing that."And there is nothing that I have thought of that can make me muster up the unf to do the thing. It's very problematic while trying to finish college.

My  newest vice is peppermints. I have been stealing mints from my coworker and I feel bad so I bought these for myself with some gum in case I'm feeling funky. I keep meaning to bring it to work, but I am so discombobulated in the mornings so I forget. Also, I made this bowl! With my hands!

Ugh that reminds me of portfolio review which is in 2 months.

Cool Kids

I had word vomit in my art history class today. I spoke up about the dumbest things and then immediately felt embarrassed and vowed not to speak again and then I almost compulsively spoke again. Like once I even said, "Oh, yeah, I totally hate dreams. The worst things happen while you're dreaming." I said that in front of twenty other people. And with this professor, you can tell when he thinks what you're saying is dumb because he changes the subject really quick. Most of the time the class feels like a big inside joke that only the kids who have had that professor before understand. It's just a touch uncomfortable, but I'm not a petulant child so it's fine.

My coworkers and I had to relocate monday and tuesday while they waxed the floors in our building and we went to this building across campus that also has staff from our department in it. I got to talk to one of my other coworkers that I almost never get to see which is a cryin' shame because of how handsome he is. There are rumors floating around that my boss and M and I might have to permanently move over there. The only thing I don't like about it is the parking is horrible over there. Otherwise, if we do move, I'll get to talk to a cute boy erryday and that is almost worth the horrible parking. 

Y'all I have TWO lovely concerts to look forward to in October. I am ultra excited.

I like the idea of a pineapple having arms and wearing sunglasses. If I drew this again, and I might just, I would not use this pattern for the yellow part, it looks ridiculous.

Oh hey, in case you noticed, the Chantilly Lace banner that's usually at the top is temporarily gone until I make a new one. I'm being a fancy art student and learning how to use adobe illustrator so it may not be soon, but I will make my own word art instead of using some font that I downloaded from the internet and could get sued for. Getting sued is really not in my budget.

human thesaurus

Remember how in a previous post, I mentioned that I was going to draw more because I was taking a drawing class and drawing is kind of okay and plus I'm an art major so I should do more art stuff. So I've decided to do more art stuff. I've been thinking about this blog lately and what I could do to liven it up a bit. I've had such a hard time finding anything to write about. Not all of my posts are gold, but they are all things I'm at least interested in. I've kept this blog up mainly because I love to journal, & in this I can edit easily and without inhibitions. I can never bring myself to physically write in a book on the reg. Plus I've always been the kind of person that wants a tiny bit of attention so I like sharing on the internet. I'm saying all that to say that I'm going to post a sketchbook page every so often. Maybe consistently. I am famously consistently inconsistent so we'll see. But at least I'm not just going to mention it and then forget about actually starting it because here's the first one!

This is a blind contour self portrait. I drew it over the summer because I had to for class. It sucks but I like it.

I made this decision to add more drawy art stuff with huge influence from this cool person Sarah. She's doing this thing called 'get messy' and it seems really fun, and while it is very inspiring, that level of structure is too much for my livelihood. I followed her links to the other 'get messy' blogs and this one in particular is pretty damn sweet. I just want to post my sketchbook and so I will. Plus I'm enamored with handwriting(including my own) and I so want to have more of it on here.


Speaking of previous posts, I am still enthralled with this song by Bastille that I mentioned in this post. I've never been the kind of person to dissect the meaning behind a song. Most of the time, I like a song because of the way the words sound coming out of someone's mouth. You know? Like the way a word feels. But not in an emotional type way, more a physical way, but obviously you can't actually touch a word. Kind of similar to how some textures are pleasing while others are irksome. Is this too artsy fartsy or do other people think this way too? Anyway, in the song Dan sings either "There's a hole in my soul, I can't feel it, I can't feel it" or "There's a hole in my soul, I can't fill it, I can't fill it." Deductive reasoning would suggest that it is "fill it" because hole and stuff, but I dunno. I don't really care to look it up. I like to think about the differences while I'm listening to the song.

The other day, the girl I work with(I've never mentioned her before now, but she started in our office near the beginning of summer.) was writing something for class and asked P & I about a word or something and P was like, "Oh ask Annabelle she's the English person" and then M laughed and said, "Are you a human thesaurus?" I told her that alas, I am not, and I must rely on the google machine to do all the dirty work. I think that would be my dream super power. How lame! But still, I would love it.

That reminds me of one of my favorite conversations I ever had with Dr. G about his overuse of words. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away when I was in his class, I pointed out that he says things & crap & stuff a lot. Did not point that out to bust his balls. Just made an observation. I just notice those kinds of things because I love a thesaurus. He gave this lovely analogy of how I'm like that character in Lord of the Rings that stabbed somebody & left a little piece in & now it just hurts. I miss him and our banter!

G and I watched Bad Words a few days ago and it was kinda cringe-y to watch with her. If you knew her you'd understand. It was a good movie though. Solid. It had a good moral, too. Which was: Don't be an asshole to anyone. Even if they're being a huge asshole to you. If you retaliate, you will look like the bigger idiot, always.