Pearls

1. Money can’t buy happiness but

somehow, it’s more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle…

2. Forgive your enemy, but

remember the bastard’s name.

3. Help a man when he is trouble & he will remember you

when he is in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because

it’s illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then,

neither does milk.

A story about dog shit

I will never voluntarily own a dog. Dogs are so terrible. Their poop is like human poop. When they shit in the floor, it's like a human shit in the floor. Horrible. I have never made this distinction before, but I'm making it now. Cats are so much better to have as pets.
Let me tell you this mega dumb thing that happened today. I am dogsitting for my cousins this week and they have these 2 dachshunds and they don't know how/don't like to poop outside. So they always shit when I bring them inside. They usually shit in the dining room or near the bathroom in the shadows, which always made me think that they know what they're doing. Now I know that they know. I was sitting down on the couch eating my supper and one of the dogs took a shit right directly behind me in a totally abnormal place than they normally shit. Then I couldn't finish my supper. It was a shame.

relevant

Post by Rhett and Link.

a through z

A. What are your favourite smells? I love the smell of this suave mango mandarin body wash that I just bought. It smells like gummy fruit snacks.

B. Can you go a whole day without caffeine? Not willingly.

C. Who knows more about you than anyone else? Tie between Smells and Rosh. They know equally but different stuff.

D. What song did you last listen to? radar detector - darwin deez

E. Do you have a crush on anybody? Of course. Ansel Elgort. I love how he's such a dorky nerd.

F. Do you like The Beatles? Of course.

G. If you could choose one color to wear for a whole year, what color would you choose? Black like my soul.

H. Do you cook often? Yes, erryday.

I. What was the last film you watched? Did you like it? Finding Joy. It was okay.

J. Can you sew? A lot of people ask me that! I can do   a n y t h i n g    .

K. What is your favorite fruit? Tie between watermelon and cantaloupe.

L. Are you health conscious? No. I mean, yes. In the littlest amount.

M. Go do the Kinsey scale test, what number result did you receive?

I'm an unusual person. No surprise there.

N. Do you curse a lot? Less than a sailor, but more than a priest.

O. When was the last time you had a pint of beer? That time I went to the nook and had a raspberry lambic. Was that even a pint... I don't know...

P. Are you pro life or pro choice? Pro choice.

Q. Is there a certain food you often crave for no reason? Funnel cake.

R. What was the last book you purchased? The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier.

S. Where was your last vacation? Washington DC.

T. Do you shave your pits? I do.

U. Did you ever play seven minutes in heaven? I never did.

V. Girls, when was the last time you went out without a bra? Currently. Oooh scandalous.

W. Guys, when was the last time you went shirtless in public? Nips out woowooo.

X. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, how did it happen? No, I drink too much milk.

Y. How do you like your eggs? ...Saladed? In egg salad.

Z. What was your last argument about and who with? Uhh... oh yeah I actually argued with my brother about whether Ansel Elgort is the best actor. It went like this:
Him: No
Me: Yeeeeeees
Him: No
Me: Yes yes
Him: No
Me: Yes
Me: Yes
Me: Yes
Him: No
Me: Yes
Him: no
Me: y e s
Him: n



















































o
Me: ._______yes_______.
Him: Mine was better.

Happy Birthday

I love you like biscuits and gravy, hot ham and cheese sandwiches, and waffles and bacon

I haven't mentioned my grandfather's battles at all. Partly because I don't want to remember exact details; I'd rather have a hazy remembrance of the whole thing. But also because things changed incredibly fast over the past 4 months.
Now he has passed away and I'll never forget it anyway so I might as well write about it.

December 21, 2013

This was after a long stint in the hospital. Long enough that he had grown a beard. I think this was the last time that he felt okay. I know this was definitely the last time that he looked okay.

What's so messed up is that I forget that he's gone. Sometimes I'll be sitting in his chair and I'll hear a door slam or the phone will ring and my heart will race because it might be someone telling us that he's died, but then I have to remind myself that it's already happened.

I've found so far that mornings are the hardest because the empty moments in the shower are filled up with thoughts of him.

I mean, yeah he was an older man. I just figured I'd have 20 more years with him.